Remember to Live

I wanted to tell all of you about the meaning of this phrase in a bit more detail, mainly what it means to me.

For the majority of my childhood, i have felt as though I have wasted my time. I preferred being inside, couped up in my bedroom online; not talking to anyone, only listening to others. By no means was it was because of a tough childhood, I just wanted to escape from reality. So I would spend, every moment of my day, watching what others had created, not realising how fast has passed me by. One minute I’m 13, watching YouTube on my Mum’s computer, now I’m 18 and I am doing that in my room. When I reflect on the timeline here, what has truly changed within me?

There is one thing, I have learned to love myself.

It’s like Marmite, you either love it or hate it; same with the phrase above. I am slowly learning how my time spent on irrelevant topics has consumed my life. I’ve probably spent more time online, than I have speaking to my parents, and that isn’t right. I should clarify, when I say online, I mean being isolated, just viewing, not communicating with others.

But, I have learned to appreciate myself just that bit more. I realise now that I should not do this to myself, and instead start pursuing something where I actively speak to others. There is a quote, that I always try to remember. “It’s good to remember death, but what is more important is remember to Live”.

I think that is something we should all account for in our lives. Remember to live, and not let life live without you in it. Disengagement is easy, but it is the worst place to be.

Live ❤

Growing Up

I may have touched on this topic before, But this evening I have realised the sad truth that I cannot act how I used to.

By now, my fellow readers would realise that I, like many of you, have been addicted to the Internet for all my life. I would spend hours online, watching and reading a whole load of bogus. This has amounted to my mind being filled with unecessary information that I do not require. It’s the sad truth, but do I really need to know a rumour that Jeffree Star slept with Kanye West? No, I didn’t think so.

This realisation means we have to cut the “fun” out of our lives, but instead, we have to moderate it. I have dreams and goals that I have not been pursuing to the maximum. That makes me sad, because I am wasting my time, and my life.

There is so much of life that I haven’t got to see yet. So many people and destinations I want to go to. I’m worried if I spend my life just stuck where I am now, nothing will change.

It’s funny. We spend so much time viewing others living the life we want to live, yet we don’t pursue it for ourselves. That is something I want to do from now. At the most heinous route, this careless attitude I have had is an act against self-love.

This is something everybody should focus on. If you do not love yourself and take care of yourself, then how can you expect yourself to take care of others?

Control yourself when it comes to acts of immediate pleasure which delegate away from the right decision. There is only so much our bodies and minds can endure before a total breakdown. As a collective and individual, we must get atop that.

Finally, on this post, I wanted to remind you all that I, am not perfect. I use this blog to explain my flaws and actions to combat them. There is the possibility that this mindset may fail, or I may slip up. That is fine, and it should not get you down, if this happens to you. I want us all to participate in a challenge I will be starting. It’s called “Deep Thought”.

For the next 30 days, I would like everyone to do these things:

  1. Find a time for mindfulness practice for at least 15 minutes
  2. Use this time to figure out what is the best action you should take next, write it down.
  3. When you come across a junction, think what is the best thing for my mind and body, choose that option. DO NOT GO FOR THE EASY OPTION!

Good luck ! 🙂

Onwards and Upwards!

I am back! This time better than ever.

I do feel a bit of guilt for abandoning this blog, but I found it was the right thing to do since all that has been happening over the past few weeks.

So, I have been studying at my university for my assignments that were due in just before Christmas. They have been lots of hard work, but I have found them to be rewarding once you hit the ” Submit” button. Before, back in Secondary school, I would not care as much when it came to homework and tasks. I would do them as soon as I got them yes, but I would not soak in the information from the tasks to apply this to my understanding. This made them pointless.

This is one of the first things i have begun to comprehend, is to Engage with your work. What i mean by this is to not only complete your homework, or tasks, but to consider “What is this telling me?”.

Let’s say for example, you are doing a maths question, focussed around pythagoras’ theorem. You answer the question. Done, easy peasy and off to relax-town. But, if you asked yourself what it was teaching you, it would become clear the task was showing you when to use it, on right-angled triangles only!

Besides the maths lesson, looking at the bigger picture should always be at the forefront of your mind. Not to the point where you overthink life entirely, but enough for you to learn the reasoning behind certain actions and tasks.

In social situations, the ‘bigger’ picture concerns the “Why” in people’s behaviour. For example, I was driving on the dual carriageway recently, and this woman was constantly beeping at me. I was driving at 70, and was following the road rules, but I couldn’t understand why she was beeping. I could easily get angry and try to react, but I thought to myself, I don’t know this woman, something may have happened in her life to make her act this way. People should be treated the way they wish to be treated, but if others fail to meet that criteria, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by, remember I’m not a guru.

Good morning, afternoon or evening reader! My name is Thomas, and welcome to my blog.

This is where i will be discussing personal development, productivity and anecdotal events in my life, and what i have learnt from them.

Would love you to join on the journey!

🙂

My Life so far…

It is amazing how much you can change once you’ve stepped back from something you have pursued; given everything to make it successful. This blog, my personal document of my stories and the lessons I learnt, was my cathartic method to let how I was feeling out into the world.

As you can probably tell, I haven’t written on here in a while. It is nothing for me to be ashamed of, though I could’ve written a bit quicker, I’ve enjoyed the process of life happening, not everything has to happen on a screen.

So, here are a few things I have learnt during my time off from writing

  • You cannot change the people around you.

I had to learn this the hard way. It was in a situation with my parents. We were discussing a story about something quite powerful concerning subjects such as: race, sexual identification and orientation etc. We did not agree on a few aspects, having the naivety in my mind, I thought I would be able to change how they think so they would think like me. This is an incredible way to get slapped in the face. You cannot change people to think or feel as you do. It is impossible due to the overwhelming individuality that we all feel. In other words, we are all unique. So using passive aggressiveness and derogatory language to make someone feel bad in order to change their mind, is wrong. Life is too short to worry about other people’s thoughts, only worry how you can change your own.

  • Rules sometimes have to be broken.

I learned this quite recently once coming out of quarantine, heading back to work. Recently, one of my friends had become very depressed, to the point of suicide was plaguing their mind. One day ( because we work together) just before we close, they broke down in front of my boss and me. Obviously, with government guidelines, we are not supposed to hug and comfort others; to keep social distance. But, in this scenario, there is no choice. I would rather comfort a dear friend of mine, instead of watching them suffer alone.

  1. You don’t need to be consuming content all the time.

This lesson is only starting to be embedded in my head. With the abundance of content online, it is hard to tell yourself that you should not watch it; or need it. This is my problem with YouTube. After watching it consistently since the site began, and obsession for it began to devolve into a need for content in my life. I began to see the negative effects around me when i saw how it affected my parents when I would ignore them and keep staring at my phone. DO NOT DO THIS. Trust me, this habit is not one you want to form.

  • Before you buy something, assess all the benefits and positives before buying.

Amounting all the stuff I have bought over the years, then compare it to the stuff I actually kept, I have realised how much money I have wasted. The impulsivity that I have in my hand is terrifying. To my knowledge, there are only few things you need to have a comfortable life; technology and the latest gimmick is not one of them. So, assess all the benefits and drawbacks of a purchase before you try to buy it.

  • You shouldn’t try to change anything about yourself to please others.

The most important skill I am beginning to develop is self confidence. In scenarios where I am not the “top dog” or well known, having that self confidence in myself is really important if I am to become more open and begin to believe in myself.

So when you next look at yourself in the mirror, understand that there are always things you need to work on, but changing your personality; forcefully to adhere to others is impossible. Instead, focus on the minor changes that you can do with your habits and attitude towards buying and how you communicate with others. Be loving and caring towards others, but do not forget to love yourself. That is the only way to become the best version of you.

We are incredibly lucky to be alive

This idea has always been around, but have you ever taken the time to really crate what you have?

This idea first popped into my head yesterday. It was a busy day at work, and I was getting stressed that I wasn’t able to do everything I wanted. This included: talking because I hadn’t done a lot of it in quarantine and all the work tasks that needed to be completed. My overwhelming fear and anxiety had stopped me from progressing, in the fear that I would be judged or misinterpreted due to my actions. This disability is present in many people, it can stop us from reaching our full potential.

But then, it hit me. An immeasurable level of gratitude hit my brain. I thought “Wow, I am incredibly lucky to be alive right now.” Out of all the sperm cells and eggs, it was those specific ones that were in the right place, at the right time , to create you. All the events that have occurred in your life, if any single one event was changed, it would change your entire personality; maybe only a bit, or to a large extent.

When you look around at everyone on this planet, no matter their status, we are all lucky to be here. Even through a pandemic, where we have lost many lives and continue to do so, those who are still here are lucky to be here. I think it is time more people realise how incredible this is.

With this revelation, I find myself pushing past those boundaries and doing what scares me the most. Whether that is singing, or telling jokes in front of others, I will do it, because I get to do this. Anxiety and fear begin to subside; they never really go away, but you pay less attention to them than you usually would.

So, remember when you’re feeling low, or need a confidence booster, the fact you are on the planet right now is a blessing in disguise; make the most of it whilst you’re here

YouTube detox

A month on from my last detox, that did not go that well in all honesty. My addiction to the internet, especially YouTube, has began to spike again. I find myself watching endless streams of videos, constantly refreshing my recommended tab; waiting for the next piece to catch my eye.

This has affected my health in ways that I did not know it could. I find that my screen time has increased by a large margin. Though I watch Anime on Crunchyroll, it is not as frequent as the Google site. I am now well aware of my existence, and how I am wasting it, consuming the success of others. I keep telling myself: I am better than this, I can do more. But I am always so hesitant to do so. It is like I need to go on there to be happy.

That isn’t right, I need to find true happiness within myself, not through objects. So, for the next 30 days, YouTube is off the table. I cannot go onto it for any necessary reasons.

It is time to see how strong my self control is.

This Chapter is ending…

This might sound ominous, but I do not want it to sound this way. When I say “this chapter” I am quite literally referring to this point in my life, because many changes are around the corner, and I won’t easily be able to go back to how I am now.

I have done a lot of growing and developmental work upon myself during the time known as “self-isolation and quarantine” and I value what I have been able to get out from it. For example, I discovered who my true friends were; those who stuck in contact with me throughout the coronacrisis ( I think this is a cooler name). It reminded me that I am loved and cared by others in my life, and I don’t need to be so reclusive to others, because I am not alone in life. I used to think so, I used to live in fear of being looked down on, but I don’t think this way anymore. The only opinions that matter to me are my friends, family and myself. If I am doing something that those around me don’t approve of, if I enjoy it ( and it is sensible in retrospect) then go for it.

One of the most important lessons is one of “moments mori” or to ‘remember death’. As morbid as it sounds, it holds me to the mark; to live each day, knowing that death only draws evercloser. It isolates my fear from me, allowing me to do activities I wouldn’t even dream of.

Another key lesson I learned about myself was that I have lied to myself and others a lot in the past. Whether to make myself, or others around me feel better, I had lost touch with the identity that is ‘me’.

Finally, I have learned what I love to do. Helping people, educating others and myself and being loved is things I adore about life. I have never wanted a relationship that much, besides the failures of asking girls out and whatnot. I’m purposely seeking for the woman of my dreams, I don’t know how long it will take us to find each other, but when we do, it will become clear.

Fate will guide everything to clarity, how that happens is on you.

#blacklivesmatter

With what was already going on in the world, the death of George Floyd a few days ago, has added to the spark which is the blacklivesmatter movement. The public resort to riots in situations where they feel ignored, and in this case it is shown. Prejudice and discrimination is highly present in our world still. It is 2020, this should not be happening, it should never have happened in the first place.

We can all wish for it to go away, but that won’t happen without action.

Support the people. There is only one race, the human race.

#blacklivesmatter

Can’t believe we made it. Thanks to everybody for reading, more are on the way!!! – HJT

Maybe cut down on your screen time

With the whole world being stuck at home once again, it may seem natural to spend every waking moment online, to pass the time away that you would usually be doing with others.

Now don’t get me wrong, like the average Joe, I love using my phone and the internet. It is a brilliant source of entertainment, communication and pleasure. However, for every positive there has to be a negative. With the internet, it is the biggest form of distraction there is.

It has been said many times before me. Websites have been designed to be engaging and addictive. The reason tiktok is so popular is because of its endless scrolling feature. It is impossible to reach the end of it, there is no end. Facebook and YouTube are the same, you could spend hours watching videos and browsing, without realising it is night and you haven’t eaten all day. That anecdote may seem farfetched, but it does happen; to me as well.

You may be wondering “Get off my phone? That is so easy anyone can do it!”. To those who make that statement, I ask you whether you have tried a detox from it? To an outsider, anything seems possible. Once you have committed to staying off it for a while, it will become how apparent the difficulties it entails.

Books are still a thing, and probably hold more knowledge than any single video does. Perhaps you could try it instead of indulging in a Minecraft video. I should state, I am being hypocritical on purpose. I believe throughout all our lives, we should take responsibility and be accountable for our own actions; myself included.

So, let us try to get our screen time down by 10%.

New Day, New Start

After the inauguration of President Biden, I think it is appropriate to say this is a new beginning for America, and the World.

We have all had to live through the treacherous year of the COVID pandemic, and some would argue the presidency of Donald Trump. This is where division and unrest was at its peak. Children separated from parents, racial discrimination at its highest point for centuries. It has been overwhelming for any standard citizen to see. But, I am not an American, I am British, and even I can notice the struggle.

So, does this mean this is the end of our struggles? No, but it is a start to fight back. I am not one to be heavily invested in politics, but when it comes to the functioning of our world, it is only right that we contribute our voices and help.

The majority of Britons have been giving and kind throughout this pandemic. It can be argued that those who have broken the rules have made it harder to go on; mentally and emotionally. We should not use this time to look back in regret; on what we should have done better. Instead, we should use this time to reflect upon our previous mistakes, and look forward to assess on how we can use our abilities and skills, to make a brighter future for all.

Remember to smile, and to look out for each other. New day, new start.

Cry.

Hey reader! Hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to remind you that it is okay to express your emotions. There has been times in my life, where I have been unaware of my true feelings. They had been suppressed, covered up by my subconscious. But there is a way to unlock these every once in a while.

This is to cry.

Well it can be, but it is any way for any person to release their emotions in a safe way. Crying is something many people find effective, and something I had forgotten about.

It may just be me, but there is conditioned response to stop myself from crying. I’ve never really done it as I was embarrassed to, I was quite the cryer when I was younger due to some personal issues.

So I was embarrassed? Who cares? The important thing is I’ve recognised this, understanding my mentality. I don’t have to act so manly or grown up. Even adults cry.

It’s good, even if you’re not crying about the issue, it exposes your subconscious. Maybe you’ll find out something important about yourself through it.

So please, don’t hide your emotions, they are apart of you.

Dating

I wanted to stress some thing , which is very easy to overlook.

Dating is great. You get to meet cool people, get to know them even better, and have a wonderful time with them. Not to mention, the other things.

But there seems to be this trend, especially with people my age, where you always have to be dating. This isn’t true, for some reason it’s becoming the norm.

I’m no dating expert myself, but from what I do know is there is no rush to find the perfect person. With apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, they want you to find a date. Sometimes, you are not ready to be dating someone, maybe you need to give yourself time to grow.

I started noticing this about a year ago l, when I’d be taking to a girl, and then would evaluate what I was saying; I wasn’t a man, I was a boy, with a feeble understanding of the real world. With that mindset, no girl is going to change your mind.

There’s always this rush to be in things. The rush to be in a relationship, the rush to hold someone before anybody else. If there is someone out there for you, let them know, but remember to check if you’re okay too. Life is too short to not go for chances, but it’s also too short if you mess them all up.

Go with your gut. But when you’re dating, check that you’re in the right place to date.

Don’t care about unimportant stuff.

It is as simple as that. When there is something present in your life, that you know is unimportant, lacks any worth or value, why do you pay attention to it.

In life it is so easy to get caught up in the most minor things, not noticing what’s truly important until it’s right in our face. But trust me, you need to look for it, find it and hold onto what is most important.

The other stuff? Don’t care about it!

Time

Time, it is moving so fast isn’t it?

Well, technically it is moving at the same rate it has done for all of time. The length of a second is the same as it was at the beginning of time. But, it feels as though it is getting faster and faster.

When the first lockdown came into phase last year, it felt like time had stopped. There were no cars, no people, nothing. We felt like it would never end. Now, being back almost a year later, this feeling has gone.

We blink and 5 days have gone. We sleep and a month is gone. Time is moving very fast, which makes all previous moments and days fizzle together.

This is what this post is about, remembering the importance of each moment.

You cannot decide your future, you cannot change your past. The only action you have control of is the present moment. By doing so, you can influence future outcomes, but not change them.

I myself have found it difficult to focus on the present moment. With so much going on in my life, and around the world, it feels as though moments do not matter. If we get to this date, everything will be normal and then the present becomes important, but what about now?

Time is ticking, the world keeps on going. Ferris Bueller said it best “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stay and look around in a while, you might miss it”.

Cherish every moment you have, live in the NOW.

Lockdown 3.0

With the UK having another lockdown announced to protect there NHS, I wanted to touch on some of the benefits and my thoughts on the decision.

Obviously, it sucks. It’s annoying for those who need to go to work, the concept of freedom gets swayed, as people are not allowed to go anywhere.

But, there are some positives. You can still go out for exercise, such as a run, walk, cycle, etc. Just like in the first lockdown, this time is the best time to start something new, learn a new skill, or practice what you already know. Better get that guitar out of the cupboard.

If you are going to spend this Lockdown alone, don’t suffer in silence. There are many people, friends, family, and phone services that can help. Being on your own can be lonely, but you don’t have to be alone.

On the other hand, being alone might be great. You finally have your freedom to do what you want to do, but not everyone will feel that luxurious. Remember to look out for one another, because we are all in this together.

Please, don’t break the rules. You know it’s wrong, so why do it?

Finally, take some time to yourself. You don’t have to be working 24 hours a day. There is more than enough time in a day for you to relax. I ask you take up that opportunity, and remember to be present in that moment.

Take care!

Instead of being who you were how about becoming who you want to be?

This is something I thought about on my run this morning. We get so comfortable with how we live, day by day, that when change comes about, it is scary and unwanted.

Take starting a new habit, or quitting something you used to do ( such as smoking). Instead of sticking with this new change, humans find it very easy to slip back into our old ways. We crave the easy-life , and linearity in our daily routine.

It is so hard to change, is usually the mentality that people have when they are trying to change something about themselves. But, maybe it isn’t so difficult. If you say something will be difficult, it is likely it will appear to be more difficult. Optimism and mindset can change the play of the game.

We revert back to our old ways because that is who we used to be, and we recognise how easy it is to be that person. With the action of smoking, you may be quitting due to health risks. It is easy enough to forget, or stop trying to smoke because it is just too hard. This isn’t the case. Every single day, people change, little by little. Nobody is the same person as they were 24 hours before. Taking the leap to commit a change, is one of the strongest attributes a human can have. The best part about it? It is free and anybody can do it.

It must come from within. When you want to do something differently (especially with resolutions) it is key to remember why you are doing it, and how it will change your life, for the bettter.

So instead of living who you were before, how about living the life you want to be. If you identify as a non-smoker, then stop smoking. If you are an athlete, better start working out. Keep these ideals in realistic terms, nobody out there wants to be a unicorn.

Start living your ideal life, it all starts with a change of mindset.