It is amazing how much you can change once you’ve stepped back from something you have pursued; given everything to make it successful. This blog, my personal document of my stories and the lessons I learnt, was my cathartic method to let how I was feeling out into the world.
As you can probably tell, I haven’t written on here in a while. It is nothing for me to be ashamed of, though I could’ve written a bit quicker, I’ve enjoyed the process of life happening, not everything has to happen on a screen.
So, here are a few things I have learnt during my time off from writing
- You cannot change the people around you.
I had to learn this the hard way. It was in a situation with my parents. We were discussing a story about something quite powerful concerning subjects such as: race, sexual identification and orientation etc. We did not agree on a few aspects, having the naivety in my mind, I thought I would be able to change how they think so they would think like me. This is an incredible way to get slapped in the face. You cannot change people to think or feel as you do. It is impossible due to the overwhelming individuality that we all feel. In other words, we are all unique. So using passive aggressiveness and derogatory language to make someone feel bad in order to change their mind, is wrong. Life is too short to worry about other people’s thoughts, only worry how you can change your own.
- Rules sometimes have to be broken.
I learned this quite recently once coming out of quarantine, heading back to work. Recently, one of my friends had become very depressed, to the point of suicide was plaguing their mind. One day ( because we work together) just before we close, they broke down in front of my boss and me. Obviously, with government guidelines, we are not supposed to hug and comfort others; to keep social distance. But, in this scenario, there is no choice. I would rather comfort a dear friend of mine, instead of watching them suffer alone.
- You don’t need to be consuming content all the time.
This lesson is only starting to be embedded in my head. With the abundance of content online, it is hard to tell yourself that you should not watch it; or need it. This is my problem with YouTube. After watching it consistently since the site began, and obsession for it began to devolve into a need for content in my life. I began to see the negative effects around me when i saw how it affected my parents when I would ignore them and keep staring at my phone. DO NOT DO THIS. Trust me, this habit is not one you want to form.
- Before you buy something, assess all the benefits and positives before buying.
Amounting all the stuff I have bought over the years, then compare it to the stuff I actually kept, I have realised how much money I have wasted. The impulsivity that I have in my hand is terrifying. To my knowledge, there are only few things you need to have a comfortable life; technology and the latest gimmick is not one of them. So, assess all the benefits and drawbacks of a purchase before you try to buy it.
- You shouldn’t try to change anything about yourself to please others.
The most important skill I am beginning to develop is self confidence. In scenarios where I am not the “top dog” or well known, having that self confidence in myself is really important if I am to become more open and begin to believe in myself.
So when you next look at yourself in the mirror, understand that there are always things you need to work on, but changing your personality; forcefully to adhere to others is impossible. Instead, focus on the minor changes that you can do with your habits and attitude towards buying and how you communicate with others. Be loving and caring towards others, but do not forget to love yourself. That is the only way to become the best version of you.