Saying Goodbye

This is one of the toughest things that humans have to go through in their everyday life. Might it be to a significant other, or a job, it does not get any easier.

But sometimes, there is an appropriate time to say goodbye.

Recently, I have been playing through all of the Pokemon games again. As the fellow reader would know, I have always been attached to the franchise. I played every game, collected the cards, and enjoyed the music. It was my thing.

Then, I went to secondary school, and I started to distance myself from it unintentionally. I still kept up to date with the news, but I was not as interested as before.

Last year, it once again reaffirmed itself as important to me. It felt like a piece of me that I had been missing in my life.

So I bought all the games.

I learned the hard way that if you try to relive your nostalgia from a child, it can be incredibly saddening. Once you realise that the young you, who loved these games cannot return because you have already played them, it is sad, and can leave the games with a completionism facade.

I played the games, but did I enjoy them?

I realised this today, once completing the last game. I felt a wave of grief and sadness, that I had not explored when I was younger. The cost of growing up is that sometimes, the young child must stay with his games. I will always love the games, I don’t want to invest myself so much in just playing for the sake of it, because then I will hate it.

I will return to the franchise once I lose the no-fun-completionist attitude.

For now, I have to put the game back in its box.

Losing your school friends.

I think this is an inevitable part of growing up. Friends that you were once incredibly close with, begin to drift apart as opportunities, life experiences and emotions create an invisible wall between each other; impossible to break down with big changes to both your lifestyles.

I am writing about this, not because I have lost all of my school friends, but as I progress through my life, new friends arise, which start to be my main priority friend group; I see them all the time. The group that I once spent every day of every month has become a blur, as we all go down our own life’s journey; exploring where it will take us.

The pandemic did increase the tenacity of the seperation. Unless you make significant effort to stay in touch, it can be hard once you realise that you are drifting. Just remember that friendship is two sided; both must make the effort for it to exist.

Though our lives are no longer intertwined, I am okay with the idea of starting a new adventure. I will always be grateful for the moments I shared with those people; laughing, crying and singing our hearts out. The beauty of life is not because it lasts, but because it ends, making it precious.

Maybe, our paths will cross again in the future, but for now I am happy with change.

(I may have pulled a line from Avengers: Age of Ultron, but which one??).

We are our Memories

When I was writing in my journal this morning, an interesting thought came up that I have not recognised before.

On my laptop, there were files from when I was in school. My School Parliament documents, economics power points, and even some maths homework. It looked like my whole adolescent education experience had been saved and documented on my laptop. It was baffling, because I had not realised how much I had saved over the years.

Going through those files, felt as though I was looking back on my own life. In some of those transcripts, and action points from meetings, I could tell how much I did not want to do it. I could tell how I was feeling just through a few sentences on a screen. This was scary, but it was helpful to reconcile my position in the world today.

I think I have done a lot of growing up; as naive as it sounds. I would not be where I am today, without the struggle, the uncomfortableness and for the friends who believed in me. Like for everyone, I still have a long way to go to get to where I want to be; we are always changing in life.

The message that can be gathered from this experience is it is okay to let go of your past. I did not realise how much I was holding on to the Secondary school life that I once had. Sometimes, I would wish to be transported back in time to those academic years; just to live out one more day.

The truth is, I can’t do that. I don’t think I would want to anymore because it would be too sad, and it shaped me at the time, but not now.

We are our own memories, it is good to write them down in a journal, or on a computer, because memories help create our identity.

Today, I forgot my password on my iPhone, so I have to reset it to factory settings. This is sad, but I am not worried at the end of the day.

I am starting to realise that the general public are holding their digital devices at higher value to the people we see in our everyday lives. At the dinner table; phone. At school or college; phone in hand. There is difference between sounding like a “boomer” and being worried for our neighbour.

Your life is yours, you are free to do whatever you want with it; I will not stop you. But, we should all be aware that once our devices have hooked onto us, it is incredibly difficult to resist the instant dopamine hit you get by just looking at it.

I made a post last year in the summer, regarding removing my music and earphones when out in public or on a run. Unfortunately, not only is it safer, but it is pleasant when focussing your peripherals on nature and people.

In public, everyone is doing their own thing, but I still find it nice to just say “Good Morning!” or “Have a nice day!” because it can brighten up another’s day.

In summary, don’t put all of your identity solely being with your phone. You can exist without it, you are not going to die with it, so why treat it like it is alive. Utilise it, appreciate it, but remember it can always absorb your time, life and money away.

P.S.: When you change your password on your phone, remember to write it down!

Gratitude.

I am going to be honest with you, reader. I have no idea what to write about today, though i have the motivation to just right.

So, what do I use the time to do? I want to express my deep gratitude for having the ability to write and create using this blog for the past two years. When I started it back in 2019, I was bewildered by my own insecurities. Constantly, I would wonder what my destiny, or my dreams would be for my life. It was paralysing for me.

But now, I believe that this blog has helped change my life. It has gotten me to gather a new perspective on relevant topics, and has adapted my ability to evaluate and think critically on important topics. I am truly grateful that I can express and share my posts with the world.

I think the world would be a better place if everybody learned to express themselves (sensibly, of course) through discussions; not avoiding the deep topics such as death or your meaning in life.

We all have limited time, so why spend it either wasting it, or not pursuing what you want. Moreover, why would you spend your time being so negative? Positivity and gratitude are the way forward.

Sometimes, you got to get of your high horse to see how vast the land below you is; so much to explore!

Nine and a Half Hours

During my off days from University, I utilise my time by developing new skills, communicating with others, and exercising my mind through meditative practices, as well as problem solving (a sophisticated way of saying I play Minecraft).

But, recently I stumbled upon this podcast, SickBoy. The main host – Jeremi – has cystic fibrosis, which if you remember from GCSE biology, is a fatal disease where people live up to the age of 30 if they are lucky. The podcast is pivoted around presenting a safe space for those with terminal illnesses to speak up, spread awareness and educate others on how it has changed their perspective in life.

In the last month, Jeremi was a guest on Anthony Padilla’s YouTube channel, with a video titled “I spent a day with people with Terminal Illnesses”. The video was phenomenal, due to the message that the guests, such as Jeremi, described.

Having a fatal illness is the worst. Though I cannot speak for them, the strength and determination to live fulfilling lives, though their time will likely be shorter than the rest of us, is extremely admirable.

One thing stuck with me. Though these people with terminal illnesses have a rough estimate for the end of their time, the rest of us are like this too. Death is inescapable.

You probably just read that last sentence thinking it is morbid, but that is exactly the problem; we are all so scared. We hold back in life because we think we will be given another chance, or we are not good or capable enough to do the task. Newsflash: you may never get another shot to do what you want to do right now, so why waste it.

Jeremi set a good idea in motion on the video. Set the timer for nine and a half hours, imagine that is how long until you die. He challenges the viewers to live as though it was your last day on earth. Now, this doesn’t mean ignoring laws or the pandemic regulations, but doing the tasks you want to do, speaking to the people you love, and those you should be speaking to. Embrace your limited time, because we all have a timer ticking over our heads.

Are you going to keep looking away from it, or accept it and start living life to the full?

The choice is yours

(P.S: Shoutout to my old classmate!)

Never Give Up

Audio

If you have an ideal you are pursuing, or are stuck on an assignment that you think will never end, I want to offer some advice.

A little hint, it is the title.

Seen it before? Almost all the entire earth’s population could say they have heard some iteration of this; to never give into the easy way of living. When the going gets tough, you must get tougher. But, when I say this to you, I do not aim to be perceived as another person, I tell this to you with the full confidence that you won’t give up.

To have someone tell you to never give up, it means that you have had some difficulty pursuing your desire. I may not know your situation, but what I know is your are smart enough to evaluate your current actions. This requires wisdom, which means you can complete your task, you just have to think of an alternative way to do it.

There are always different methods to achieve your goals, just because one way does not work, doesn’t make it impossible. We adapt and overcome to get what we desire.

We never give up. Once all methods are used, then is the time for another evaluation.

Keep going, to the very end

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility…

Uncle Ben really said it best in this quote, but most people brush past the true meaning of his words, so I wanted to delve into it a bit today.

Well, it wasn’t said first by him, it was actually just the quote at the end of one of the comics in the 80s, where Peter is complementing his actions as a hero, and how he failed to save his Uncle, because he did not think it was his duty to help others. These words mean a tremendous amount to Peter, as it reminds him that no one should be put in the way of distress because Spider-Man failed to act. The words appeared at the end of the comic panel, as Peter accepted his responsibility.

This message can mean a great deal to many people around the world. Those who look up to the highly rich celebrities; beg them to do things with their money to benefit the world, but we seem to disgregard our own ability to help change the world.

Look no further than Greta Thunberg, her passion to stop the world succumbing to climate change, launched a campaign to push for a more eco-friendly planet. Ideals and beliefs together can incite change in our lives.

Events can change our views on responsibility too. In 2020, where the horrific killing of George Floyd inflamed the fires of Black Lives Matter Protesters, we have witnessed a more substantial change towards racial diversity. Unfortunately we have a long way to go, but everyday people’s voice, who were fuelled by rage due to inequality in our world, are creating change.

We all have a responsibility to do the right thing. It may be difficult; feeling like an uphill battle, but that is how change is made. We all have the power within ourselves to make a great impact on our planet; for the better. It is time we start fulfilling this ideology.

I am okay with just being me.

On social media, there has always been this posed message towards consumers, that you should be who you want to be on these platforms. It was nice, for a time. Then, many people on these platforms began trying to one-up themselves every-time they posted. For example, an instagrammer (remain anonymous) would climb onto different buildings, taking photos at the top. Unfortunately, he kept on trying to one up himself, so much that he climbed on of the highest cranes in the world and died. It is these kinds of actions that occur due to the toxicity of social media, and how it has control over our subconscious needs and desires.

We want to be recognised and affiliated with a group, it is human nature to do so. But, with the extent and force that the media has behind it, now has become one the most hardest times to be on your own. Covid has held our lives on pause for almost a year, it is difficult to get the gears moving again. Nobody wants to be alone, but it can be more enjoyable than you think.

One of the things I have found helpful when spending time on my own is occupying my mind and body. Running, school work and working out are great ways for me to pass the time. I find that the more I focus on something else, the less likely I will be constantly self conscious.

It is also good to tell others, though it is hard to listen to, that there will be times when you feel as though you are on your own. In some cases, accepting and being content with loneliness is rewarding, it can allow you to flourish.

Sometimes, if I feel alone, what I like to do is take a big breath in, and think about all the other people that are going to be breathing in the same oxygen (kind of) on the same planet, at the same time. If you do this, then you realise it is impossible to be alone, unless everyone but you moves to Mars tomorrow. Regardless, being alone can be incredible, if you learn to accept it and run with it. You have yourself, you are never alone.

when I look back when I was younger, I was so happy just being on my own, I did not care much about others besides my family. I was a true loner. But, now I have close friends, it can be difficult to be without them. You may feel that crippling loneliness. But, if you can learn to be happy with yourself, not having the need to change your personality to gain more friends on social media, and accepting the fact that you will always have your back, then you will be okay.

Just like I am okay with just being me.

Start trying the things you want to do.

This can be extremely difficult, to abandon all you know and start a brand new journey down an unfamiliar road. You may be alone, or isolated on your beliefs and desires compared to your family and friends. However my friends, we have one commonality; we will be going down this road together.

I have always been fascinated by content creation and sharing my experiences. Since I was incredibly young, I have watched YouTube for over a year’s worth of content. This has started to mess with me, my progress in my life and my happiness. It is one thing to watch others being happy, but what about your own?

So, I am starting to make content on the internet, just small stuff here and there to make myself a bit happier. Due to my addiction, I have decided to take a 30-day detox from the site. Though I have discussed this on the blog before, I was a lot less committed and disciplined to follow through, this time I am.

Even if, doing your favourite thing takes up a bit of your time, you can structure your day. It is difficult to have a change of schedule, but you will be more motivated to complete your mundane tasks, so you can focus on the bigger, exciting hobbies that you love.

Most people would tell you it’s easy; just get started. I know it is difficult. Once you get going, you will be in a flow state, being able to accomplish more than you thought.

So, let’s do it.