The is no one else you should rather be than yourself.

That title? It is the one thing that is helping me understand how I should treat myself, especially since what I have learned in the past few weeks.

Truthfully I have not been honest with you, I have been appearing like a guru in these blog posts, as if I have the key information that will unlock the universe before me, but that is not me, it is a role that I play to appeal to an audience; you.

Recently, I have exhausted myself on trying to act positively for other people; being the perfect version of myself in the situation presented, so whoever else is there will like me. Consequently, I became lost in my sense of self. “If I am all these different people to everyone else, then who am I to me?”. This statement can be interpreted as quite preachy, anyone who would give advice would say “don’t overthink it”. I think I have said this advice before on this blog.

The world isn’t black and white, overthinking is not something you can switch off; it is a habit. These habits, like any, are reinforced and can be constantly present.

What I am saying here is, we all need to stop trying to appeal to others. Though it is expected of us, as we are social creatures, it is also exhausting and fruitless.

The right people will come, but you won’t need to change your entire personality just to have a chance at forming any relationship with them.

I will no longer be lazy

It is easy enough for all of us to fall into, the same pattern of doing exactly what our urges want, which may provide us instant gratification or relaxation (such as social media).

More often than not, I find myself dealing with negativity towards my self worth, self inflicted by my own selfish habits and tendencies (lots of self there!).

This is a short post to affirm that however long it takes, I will change this preference to be lazy to doing something beneficial for my health. I will keep you updated on what I accomplish.

If you would like to follow along, let me know!

Birthday reflection

Yesterday was my birthday, and I wanted to share some things that I will be taking with me into the future.

1: Stop trying to be friendly to everyone

I think this will be something that lots of people can relate to; we are all too “vanilla” to others. This is usually to avoid confrontation, so instead of discussing a possible disagreement, we keep our opinions to ourselves. There is a problem which is created here, everyone begins to believe their opinion is right and everyone else is wrong. If no one will disagree, and everyone surrounding you are “yes-menning”, then your ego will increase, which can be dangerous especially when you have no idea what you are talking about.

Also, something I have learned, actually through my boss, is trying to be nice to everyone, besides the people that truly matter, is pointless. There is the golden rule taught throughout all studies of Christianity “treat others how you wish to be treated”. By that logic, I began to ask myself, do I really want everyone to treat me as their friend? No, that would be overwhelmingly stressful!

Working in a customer serving environment, it is important to be nice to customers (obviously) but you do not have to go the extra mile every time. Only a small amount of people will reciprocate with gratitude; they are the people who matter.

So to sum this up, stop being so nice to everyone, they are not all worth your time. Understand who is truly important in your life, they are who you should focus on.

Remember, nobody likes a yes-man, be honest with people, it is one of the ways to filter down towards those who are important.

2) Instant gratification and too much relaxation is affecting your brain, stop it.

After coming back from work, the habitual process of sitting down and doing nothing is a redundancy, a waste of time. Spending your time more wisely will increase your capacity to do more things at a higher standard than others. Over this beginning of self development, YouTube has become something associated with procrastination, it is true, all of social media is!

Put your mind to projects, that lead to results, that is the only way to grow.

3) Stop giving a shit about things (overthinking)

The day is done, the year is done, you don’t need to be worrying about something you have already done, you cannot change it, it is a part of your origin, your life. Don’t overthink unnecessarily, just do.

4) You don’t need to portray a story to everyone

Keep some things to yourself, simplify your life as it won’t do you any good having lots of people knowing your life story, especially if you’re not making money.

5) Believe in yourself

Recognize your worth, you are amazing!

Anyway happy birthday me for yesterday, have a great day y’all

How to be more intentional with your time.

Plan: Intro, the issue, what i will do, 1 plan your day, 2 have an accountability partner, 3 be disciplined, realize when it is okay to relax

As you have all seen throughout the duration of this blog’s life, I like to use my platform as reminders to myself and others on how to be better. Today’s task is centered around improving your intentions.

The usual routine of an adult’s day is to: wake up, shower, maybe walk the dogs and have breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner , watch tv and go to bed. This seems pretty standard, but at least for me, I have the feeling that this time where I am not doing anything could be used more practically for pursuing my interests.

A power that social media has upon individuals is the ability to nullify passion and drive. Mindlessly scrolling on a screen is like a dementor; it sucks the life out of you to the point where you forget your own meaning other than to endlessly scroll.

You basically become robotic, consuming media and applying it to the only area of your mind which is accessible, your insecurities. The horrific thing is, our automatic, habitual tendency to pull out our phone is becoming our downfall for this bad behaviour, which ultimately we inflict on ourselves.

One solution to begin to make your time intentional is to delete the applications which can suck your time up. This makes them impossible to access without redownloading it, and according to the 20 second rule, if you’re really disciplined, you are unlikely to follow through.

Alternatively, if you can’t just delete the apps, you can always use screen restrictions, such as Apple’s Screen time rules or Android’s Digital Wellbeing. Unlike the redownloading, the only obstacle between you and the app is a passcode which unlocks the app, though with Apple focusing on containing this, it is unlikely to remain this easy.

Having an extra pair of hands can help stimulate better intentionality in your life. For example, I let my mum know what I am getting up to, just so I am more likely to stay focused and determined if someone is reminding me what I should be doing.

Finally, you may think you have to be extremely disciplined, the reality is if you plan your day, not down to the specifics (like 20:30- 20:34 dinner) then you are still likely to be disciplined enough to do what you need to do. Setting boundaries on technology and having someone look out for you are key, resulting in a disciplined personality trait developing. That is how to be more intentional.

Thank you for reading!

How to change your mindset

Over the past few days, I began to consolidate with myself, almost like a pep talk, on how we are going in our life, where we can improve, and what may be causing us issues. One of the areas that I was struggling with was that I was constantly tired. At first I thought it was because of what I was eating, though I remembered that my family doesn’t consume the same heavy amount of carbohydrates as we use to, but still a substantial amount.

This tiredness puzzled me for a few days, but after a while I realised what the problem was.

I had been associating my entire life as a chore, work that I had to complete in order to call my day a success. I would go to work, do the best I can, then come home and perhaps do some baking for the next day ( I get to bake brownies!) and then head to bed.

In addition to all of this, most nights I would spend up in my room, doing nothing but browsing and keeping my phone on silent. I thought I would benefit from the silence; after being around people all day, I thought this was right. Soon did I realise the importance of staying in touch with friends and family, they are your support line at the end of the day.

This period of total nothingness would eat me up inside. The constant idea that “I should be doing something, but I don’t know what it is!” was playing on loop in my head. When I do nothing in a day, I get very self conscious and angry with myself; calling myself a failure.

Once I had summed up all of this, I identified how tired I actually was. Being constantly glued to a phone, computer and work, never let my brain rest. Moreover, all opportunities being presented to me were turned down, I wanted my time.

One of the first changes I made was accepting that some things you “have to” do in life are actually what you “get to” do instead. As I am in the process of this now, one of the other solutions is to have a good sleep schedule, and try to make the environment comfortable enough for sleeping (ironic how tired I am writing this bit).

I want to keep this as brief as I could. Please take a break if you are tired. Humans are not evoled enough to make working at a supermarket a necessary and habitual need for survival.

So the main cookie of advice I will give you is to stop working as hard, and start living healther, through what I displayed earlier.

There is this one thing I hate about influencers…

Now, this is a misleading title, as I am not talking about every influencer on the planet. This is a prime example of what I am going to be discussing here; the abuse of power.

The best place to take this is to Instagram, where you will find most of the people everyone finds interesting. You got your A-list Marvel celebrities, plus your models and Youtubers. The all post their own individual content for you; the consumer, to consume. You have no choice in what the person posts, only if you react to it at all. But what would happen if something harmful was posted?

It is crazy to believe the only thing really stopping abuse happening on the internet is a bot. You would think a person’s thought of “Maybe I shouldn’t do this, nah I will post it anyway”. Once you get to a high level of fame, many people begin to either A: Be weary what they post, or B: post whatever they can because they do not care.

Most influencers will get opportunities to support other brands through sponsorships and brand deals. Take a look at James Charles’ promotion of pills that were not his best friends; he basically lost his job for a bit and millions of people unfollowed him. Due to the social media market being volatile, brand deals will be viewed as selling out or vital to survival, most times it is both.

So, what has been annoying me? The influencers who exploit their fans to make more money off them. Not naming names, but telling fans the only way they can be like them is to pay for a £500 course, that they only put 2 hours of work in. Not only when it surprisingly does not work their new friend bails on them, but they are no further forward but lost thousands.

Now, I know people have to make money, but when you have something really cool to offer, wouldn’t it be better to shar with everyone?

I could go into a lot more detail, but let us just say the influencers who get their fans to invest into NFTs and cryptocurrencies that participants make a small profit, but the influencer earns massively from. This is smart, but cruel to your fans.

Be honest, don’t sellout as you’ll lose what you stood for.

I am sick of overthinking, and so should you!

The way my mind works, it has gone into overtime when it comes to overthinking things. It is not even the necessary areas where overthinking is beneficial, such as my University degree. It comes to things such as idolisation, technology and texting.

It will take up my free time (which there is a lot of) and has just made me unhappy.

SO! (as a pitch to anyone out there) I will document the road to stop overthinking!

I hope you join me!!

Remember to Catch Yourself

This idea incorporates the concept of meditation and self-reflection when it comes to tense moments throughout the day. You may be feeling stressed, or angry towards something, but it is important to train the body and mind to react to your own actions.

About 20 minutes ago at the time of writing, I began a conversation with my mum on the topic of moving out and treating me like an adult. Obviously, she replied in the way a parent would; expressing that they would love them to stay, and that she does not treat me like a child. I then proceed to make feeble, mean, low comments in our argument. Ultimately, I could have said something that really offended her.

Now, I have apologised and had a effective talk about my immaturity after, but I thought it was a good thing to bring up. Remember to catch yourself when you are falling into a flow state of behaviour. I didn’t realise until it was a bit too late in the argument to which some damage could have been done.

But, the positive is the noticing of my actions. I realised how stupid I was, incentivising my mum to give me an argument. It was pointless.

But, at least now I know not to do it.

Remember to catch yourself.

Re Establishing Yourself

It is the start of a new day, and there is only one thing that I want everyone listening to focus on.

“What steps will you take to make sure to get the most out of this day”.

On a personal note, this past month I have been taking the time to really reflect on what I want to do with myself, and almost grow in maturity more to fit a wider audience. I think I have reached a better round and I’m excited to be back.

So whether it is a schedule or blocking distractions, I hope you have a good day!

Why is everyone in a rush?

I feel as though everywhere I go, people are always in a rush to do the next thing. When I am driving on the road for example, drivers are so quick to ignore road safety for the convenience of getting somewhere just that bit quicker. I can understand for some reasons, such as being late for work, but if that is the case it is better that you face the consequences whilst arriving safely.

In life, what I have always wanted to do was to grow up quicker. Now that I am turning 19, I realise that I was wrong. Growing up is not an age, it is a mindset. I am already quite mature for my age, but wishing the time away has only resulted in negatives. We are each in control in how we present ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we have to rush our lives. Taking things slower, being more intentional with our actions, is the solution to solving the equation of life. If you are continuously rushing through your life, then are you living it?