Over the past few days, I have been looking back at things I used to like when I was younger. This went to old YouTube channels, to old video games that I cherish. The most notable one is Gravity Falls, which was a show on Disney XD based around the pine twins: Dipper and Mabel as they search to uncover the mysteries in the town. There is so much to this show, that I couldn’t describe it all in one post, but let’s just say it was an incredible series.
I sat down and watched the end of the series again, and I felt like I had an out of body experience. I saw myself looking at my younger self, 13 years old waking up at 4 in the morning just so I could see the ending first. Looking back on that time, I was very different, but I still carry a lot of the same values and likes as back then. But, there was a sense of distance and sadness; I know I cannot live as that boy for the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean I cannot get the same joy and excitement from things in the past, instead recognising that everything must come to an end. Things go in the past, which you look back on with joy and happiness, but you don’t relive them.
This is a sad realisation, but it can be looked on as a good thing. When I left school last year, I was really sad because we couldn’t finish properly. It used to make me upset when I knew I could not go back to that life. It is the same when your favourite show ends, you can’t go back and receive the same satisfaction from watching it, only in your memories.
You can’t go back in time, we must all keep moving forwards; rewriting our history books everyday with new details. At the end of the day, all we are is memories. The more you make, the more fufilled in life you will be.
What happens to the 13 year old me? He gets to enjoy his memories, but he will be taken along with me through the rest of my life to help make new memories. No part of you will be left behind, but their actions and habits will. You take the experiences with you.