Right, this is going to be a very personal blog today about what has happened to me, and still happens to me (but i am getting over it).
When i was younger (maybe 10 or 11) i was around a relative’s house in the afternoon. I found some money on the table, maybe £20 or so, and i took it without thinking of the implications and used it for my own desire.
Now, at this point i was oblivious to the world around me, but it was not until this relative died, that i became haunted about what i had done. I had watched enough scary videos about Ghosts and people returning from the dead that i feared this relative’s presence after they died. I thought “What if they come back for unfinished business and scare me?”. Until even this week, i sleep in a way in every way possible to block scary things happening in the night.
My guilt of what i had done emalgumated into the fear of a loved one.
Today i told my mum this story, the first time in about 6 years that i had told anybody. The weight has not been lifted off my shoulders yet but, it was a relief to finally tell somebody.
I don’t want to remember my relative as someone i feared, she was lovely and kind and wouldn’t want to hurt you as she had the biggest heart. If their is an afterlife, she is there, living happily and care free as she deserves. I love her so much.
The message here is that guilt is baggage upon your shoulders, you need to tell somebody about your issues if they are to be resolved. This is my first step, to finally break out my bubble and stop being afraid.
From My View 