Jealousy

Sometimes, if not a lot of the time i feel jealousy over others. We humans are naturally born to be selfish creatures who love to be in control of everything. This primary nature is embedded to our lives today, especially over topics of love, people and things. “They have that, but i want that!” or “They are dating, but i want to date her!”. It has always been around.

I am bringing this up now because i discovered something yesterday that i didn’t really think of before. One of my closest friends who i will call “John” has began recently hanging round with others. I thought i was okay with the idea of him moving long as i had already learnt this from H (look back at one of my posts “Change”) but this was different, we were best friends. I began to miss hanging out with him, hearing his high-pitched voice and the silly, messed up, funny points he would say that i took for granted. As we grow, we change to find our place in the world.

I was talking with my friend about this issue, and i came to the realization that i was not complaining about that he always hung out with the other lot. No, what i was thinking subconsciously was that i was jealous that he preferred them over me. All the years we have known each other, and he left just like that. Once that dawned upon me, i kind of went into self-pity. “Boo-ooh he doesn’t want to spend time with me”, so what?

Now i am able to look to my surroundings and see that i should be grateful for what i have in my life. I still have great friends that i now ave the opportunity to invest my time in and create a stronger relationship. Besides, i still see John everyday and we share many classes together. Sure, we may not hang outside of class, but i still value him for having some play in the forming of who i am today.

John, if your reading i don’t blame you for hanging with other people, i value you and treasure the strong friendships we had and still have. Life is all about change, this jealousy over this change will stop now.

Finding the real reason behind changes is imperative, especially if you are feel jealous or in envious at all about another. There is normally a hidden reason underneath, you just have to find it and once you do, your life will be better off.