Tag Archives: life

No more.

Up until the age of seven, my family was damaged and struggling with having an alcoholic father and a loving, kind mother who was just trying to keep the peace by directing all the verbal abuse onto herself. Then, my sister and I were left oblivious (my sister knew more, she was older) to the foreseeable destruction of my idealistic family in the close future.

This was not just because I was younger, though that played a large contributing part, it was the fundamental actions i would take, subconsciously every day, to avoid the pain that I was experiencing.

This was through playing video games and watching videos on YouTube to pass the time.

After my parents’ divorce, I thought I had moved past all of this, I didn’t develop a necessity to endulge myself in online entertainment to get me through the day, no way! You can probably tell, this was not the case.

I was trapped, and I didn’t realise this was a problem until I was older. It happened in 2021, where I was in my room, watching who-knows-what and it suddenly came to me. I had wasted so much of my life already just watching other people’s success and happiness occur. I would digitally lynch off their happiness, vicariously living through them a life that I didn’t believe I would get to experience. It isn’t to say that now I am successful and wealthy, I am still a University student who works at a supermarket to pay the rent, but my mindset has changed.

I have developed a belief that I am what controls my limits in life. Henry Ford once wrote “The man who thinks he can, and the man who thinks he can’t, are both right” and this quote just resonates with me now. After recovering from COVID; being locked away in my room, I realised I don’t want to live the life of a bum, and have my life be equivalent to a watch history page on YouTube. These pages are so easily deleted, and if my life is equivalent to that, then what am I doing with my time. I want to contribute to something in the world, even if I help someone else achieve their dreams.

I know I can do it, and you know you can do it too, so stop holding yourself back. We can all be better than the people we were yesterday, don’t let things get in the way of that.

The is no one else you should rather be than yourself.

That title? It is the one thing that is helping me understand how I should treat myself, especially since what I have learned in the past few weeks.

Truthfully I have not been honest with you, I have been appearing like a guru in these blog posts, as if I have the key information that will unlock the universe before me, but that is not me, it is a role that I play to appeal to an audience; you.

Recently, I have exhausted myself on trying to act positively for other people; being the perfect version of myself in the situation presented, so whoever else is there will like me. Consequently, I became lost in my sense of self. “If I am all these different people to everyone else, then who am I to me?”. This statement can be interpreted as quite preachy, anyone who would give advice would say “don’t overthink it”. I think I have said this advice before on this blog.

The world isn’t black and white, overthinking is not something you can switch off; it is a habit. These habits, like any, are reinforced and can be constantly present.

What I am saying here is, we all need to stop trying to appeal to others. Though it is expected of us, as we are social creatures, it is also exhausting and fruitless.

The right people will come, but you won’t need to change your entire personality just to have a chance at forming any relationship with them.

How to be more intentional with your time.

Plan: Intro, the issue, what i will do, 1 plan your day, 2 have an accountability partner, 3 be disciplined, realize when it is okay to relax

As you have all seen throughout the duration of this blog’s life, I like to use my platform as reminders to myself and others on how to be better. Today’s task is centered around improving your intentions.

The usual routine of an adult’s day is to: wake up, shower, maybe walk the dogs and have breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner , watch tv and go to bed. This seems pretty standard, but at least for me, I have the feeling that this time where I am not doing anything could be used more practically for pursuing my interests.

A power that social media has upon individuals is the ability to nullify passion and drive. Mindlessly scrolling on a screen is like a dementor; it sucks the life out of you to the point where you forget your own meaning other than to endlessly scroll.

You basically become robotic, consuming media and applying it to the only area of your mind which is accessible, your insecurities. The horrific thing is, our automatic, habitual tendency to pull out our phone is becoming our downfall for this bad behaviour, which ultimately we inflict on ourselves.

One solution to begin to make your time intentional is to delete the applications which can suck your time up. This makes them impossible to access without redownloading it, and according to the 20 second rule, if you’re really disciplined, you are unlikely to follow through.

Alternatively, if you can’t just delete the apps, you can always use screen restrictions, such as Apple’s Screen time rules or Android’s Digital Wellbeing. Unlike the redownloading, the only obstacle between you and the app is a passcode which unlocks the app, though with Apple focusing on containing this, it is unlikely to remain this easy.

Having an extra pair of hands can help stimulate better intentionality in your life. For example, I let my mum know what I am getting up to, just so I am more likely to stay focused and determined if someone is reminding me what I should be doing.

Finally, you may think you have to be extremely disciplined, the reality is if you plan your day, not down to the specifics (like 20:30- 20:34 dinner) then you are still likely to be disciplined enough to do what you need to do. Setting boundaries on technology and having someone look out for you are key, resulting in a disciplined personality trait developing. That is how to be more intentional.

Thank you for reading!

How to change your mindset

Over the past few days, I began to consolidate with myself, almost like a pep talk, on how we are going in our life, where we can improve, and what may be causing us issues. One of the areas that I was struggling with was that I was constantly tired. At first I thought it was because of what I was eating, though I remembered that my family doesn’t consume the same heavy amount of carbohydrates as we use to, but still a substantial amount.

This tiredness puzzled me for a few days, but after a while I realised what the problem was.

I had been associating my entire life as a chore, work that I had to complete in order to call my day a success. I would go to work, do the best I can, then come home and perhaps do some baking for the next day ( I get to bake brownies!) and then head to bed.

In addition to all of this, most nights I would spend up in my room, doing nothing but browsing and keeping my phone on silent. I thought I would benefit from the silence; after being around people all day, I thought this was right. Soon did I realise the importance of staying in touch with friends and family, they are your support line at the end of the day.

This period of total nothingness would eat me up inside. The constant idea that “I should be doing something, but I don’t know what it is!” was playing on loop in my head. When I do nothing in a day, I get very self conscious and angry with myself; calling myself a failure.

Once I had summed up all of this, I identified how tired I actually was. Being constantly glued to a phone, computer and work, never let my brain rest. Moreover, all opportunities being presented to me were turned down, I wanted my time.

One of the first changes I made was accepting that some things you “have to” do in life are actually what you “get to” do instead. As I am in the process of this now, one of the other solutions is to have a good sleep schedule, and try to make the environment comfortable enough for sleeping (ironic how tired I am writing this bit).

I want to keep this as brief as I could. Please take a break if you are tired. Humans are not evoled enough to make working at a supermarket a necessary and habitual need for survival.

So the main cookie of advice I will give you is to stop working as hard, and start living healther, through what I displayed earlier.

I am sick of overthinking, and so should you!

The way my mind works, it has gone into overtime when it comes to overthinking things. It is not even the necessary areas where overthinking is beneficial, such as my University degree. It comes to things such as idolisation, technology and texting.

It will take up my free time (which there is a lot of) and has just made me unhappy.

SO! (as a pitch to anyone out there) I will document the road to stop overthinking!

I hope you join me!!

Remember to Catch Yourself

This idea incorporates the concept of meditation and self-reflection when it comes to tense moments throughout the day. You may be feeling stressed, or angry towards something, but it is important to train the body and mind to react to your own actions.

About 20 minutes ago at the time of writing, I began a conversation with my mum on the topic of moving out and treating me like an adult. Obviously, she replied in the way a parent would; expressing that they would love them to stay, and that she does not treat me like a child. I then proceed to make feeble, mean, low comments in our argument. Ultimately, I could have said something that really offended her.

Now, I have apologised and had a effective talk about my immaturity after, but I thought it was a good thing to bring up. Remember to catch yourself when you are falling into a flow state of behaviour. I didn’t realise until it was a bit too late in the argument to which some damage could have been done.

But, the positive is the noticing of my actions. I realised how stupid I was, incentivising my mum to give me an argument. It was pointless.

But, at least now I know not to do it.

Remember to catch yourself.

Why is everyone in a rush?

I feel as though everywhere I go, people are always in a rush to do the next thing. When I am driving on the road for example, drivers are so quick to ignore road safety for the convenience of getting somewhere just that bit quicker. I can understand for some reasons, such as being late for work, but if that is the case it is better that you face the consequences whilst arriving safely.

In life, what I have always wanted to do was to grow up quicker. Now that I am turning 19, I realise that I was wrong. Growing up is not an age, it is a mindset. I am already quite mature for my age, but wishing the time away has only resulted in negatives. We are each in control in how we present ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we have to rush our lives. Taking things slower, being more intentional with our actions, is the solution to solving the equation of life. If you are continuously rushing through your life, then are you living it?

You don’t have to pursue dreams others dreamt for you.

I think with all our limited time here on this earth, it has become abundantly clear that we will not have the capacity to go after all that we want in our life. It is just a matter of fact; that is hard to digest for many.

I think, for many people, we were always swayed to go on a certain career path since we were younger. A lot of us would be handed a job to obtain on a silver plate once we showed one ounce of being good at something. For me, I was very good with construction and building things independently. Therefore, I might have been suited to an engineering job. The future is uncertain, so maybe I will still pursue this job, but it became apparent to me that I have the will to choose my own destiny. That may sound very fluffy and almost cringe-worthy, but it is the truth.

We each have the capacity to move our lives to an ideal that we want to strive for. If I wanted to invest more of my time into cooking, I would change my life to focus more around this. Greek Philosophers figured this out years ago; if you have a problem, do not settle and look for a solution; they always exist.

People who remain in situations that don’t bring them joy is difficult to break. With so much toxicity and terrible people, it can be hard to break out of those situations. But, it is not impossible, because the chance that got you in that situation is still there to get you out. Think of it like a Ctrl Z button.

Things can change, you can change. You don’t have to live your life to something you don’t like. You don’t have to pursue dreams others dreamt for you

You Don’t know how strong you are.

One issue that i find many people globally have is the art of self deprecation. It needs no explanation, as I believe most are aware of how harmful it can be. Recently I was thinking to myself that I was not good enough, I was unable to complete my required tasks because “I was not good enough” to produce a high quality results. Once I realized I was doing this to myself, I had to take a step back with how harsh I was being to myself. Why am I allowing myself to discredit myself like this?

Being negative is very easy in this era because we are subjected to negativity in the media everyday. It is a tough world, and many choose to view it as such. But, the simple ideal of think positive has never been so powerful.

Positivity and self love is difficult to obtain for oneself. I have struggled with this throughout my life.

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not everyone else

Think about how much you have overcome just to get to here, you are so strong for making it this far.

Your body is your one and only, take care of it.

If you realise how strong you are, then you will know why you must keep going. We only get one life, live it.

I don’t want to be spoiled anymore.

I am aware that I have posted about this before, but with the release of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, I have begun to release, in so many ways, that I no longer, want to be spoiled for experiences.

When you buy a book, you do not usually look up the ending online before you read the first page. Though some may argue that ” it is all about the experience of writing the book, instead of the actual story”, unfortunately for me honey, I read my books to get lost in a new world.

I think we all pay too much attention to what everybody else is doing, whether that is due to FOMO (fear of missing out) or conditioned sheep-like behaviour to follow what everybody else wants; thinking that is your own want. This may be a tangent, but when I see people on YouTube, basically telling you to change your life to act a certain way, I think to myself “who gives you the right to tell anyone anyway how to live their life other than themselves”. In extreme circumstances, of course it would be stupid not to utilise your influence to spread a positive message, but this constant ordering over others had become negative and annoying.

That is only if you let it become that.

We are all so bothered by what everybody else is doing, that we lose sight of what our actual lives entail. Right now, I am listening to WhiteNoise whilst my dogs look at me; begging to go on a dog walk. Instead of focussing on MY present moment, I focus on the rest of the world, such as how others are reacting to a show on Disney Plus that is just a show, or a prediction on how the series will end. I truly believe now, that going into things blind is one of the most treasured and thrilling attitudes to have. Knowing so much about pop culture community in the past can lead to expectations underwhelmed and predictions of the plot.

In many ways, I believe that individuals should be more selfish with their own personal wants. If everyone is getting the iPhone, but you really like that Samsung, then get the Samsung. You can like what you like; without choosing to care about what everyone else thinks. I understand in many situations across the globe, this can be hard or nearly impossible, but I employ you to stick to your own values as much as you can.

If you don’t, the question is asked of who is living your life; you or others

Anyway, that is my long way of saying that my friend from school? I understand why you watch things blindly, it is so much fun.

Live your life for you, not others.