Deserve

I will get something straight, you do not deserve anything. Sure, you deserve the basic human rights and ability to be independent, but you don’t deserve anything financially or in commendations. A friend asked me to buy them some drink that they obviously didn’t need, she said “You owe me” for something which was completely absurd and not financially based. I bought it for her, but not because she deserved it. The point here is that the next time that someone else is offered the promotion, or you are the last person to be chosen for a game, just remember that nobody, not even those around you deserved to be chosen. Trust me, there have been many games that i have been chosen last, but now if that were to happen (it doesn’t because i am so popular) i can reflect and take a backseat to say ” i don’t deserve to be picked first, but that is okay as nor does anybody else” now let us play!Next time you think you deserve something, remember you are actually choosing to do this and not because you deserve it!

People

Some people are annoying, it is as simple as that. You try to choose the particular people you want to be around yet sometimes your luck strings out. You get what you are given in life someone has said to you in one way or another. Today i proved that saying to be false. I had been in the presence of someone i truly, truly disliked. I knew being around her was not healthy for my well being, so i decided to end our friendship. “Look i don’t think we can be friends anymore, the way you treat me is hurtful and its unhealthy for me to remain friends”. Cutting the relationship completely is okay, sometimes it is needed to pursue your goals and appreciate those in life more. I just wish i did it sooner.

Motivation

I hope i am not the only one, sometimes i feel so unmotivated that i don’t know how to start. The best way i have found tot start is from College Info Geek’s Thomas Frank’s suggestion which is the pomodoro technique. You have probably heard of this is where you start a timer for 25 mins where you work intensively for that time. Usually after this you will probably continue afterwards. Starting is the hardest part. Motivation is all around us, you are usually the most motivating source you need. Recently, i have tried to find more motivation to do more work but tonight i have lost that will. but that is okay, so i will have to find it again. Life is about finding your passion and what motivates you, it will change over time but try to grasp onto what you want.What is your passion?

Boredom

We all experience it. A lot less than before however as we now have the capability to connect our boredom with the solutions which are- mobile phones. Social media has become an area of connection and disconnection in many ways. It connects us to our friends, the latest trends and all those videos to watch from you tube. But, it also deprives us from discovering more about ourselves. We invest so much time pondering into other people’s lives for entertainment, yet forgetting to embellish your life. The point is sometimes it is great to appreciate boredom, read a book, try something new, don’t settle for the twitch that is your phone.

Opportunities

For me, i have never been one to grasp opportunities when they arise out of fear and comfortableness about the possible scenario. I never did any clubs outside school unless i was forced to , by my mum or by teachers also. I was a weird child, yet i am not weird when in comparison with every other kid who is constantly looking down at their devices. It is meaningless! By constantly checking Instagram for whatever your not-so-close-friends are doing is pointless and a waste of time. They are enjoying themselves yet you stay at home and complain when life does not come to you on its normal silver plate. This not be likewise for all of you but it was like that for me growing up. I always thought of the money side of things as my family was quite poor, i didn’t want to deprive my mother of money just so i could have fun – strange mentality i know! But now i realize that you have to just embrace every moment you have to be productive, take the leap into the uncertainty field and make it yours. It is harder to get places without taking risks, remember you are in control of your life!

Anger

Anger is a funny thing isn’t it? It feels great during the moment as you feel it is justified, but truly it isn’t. Today for example, i felt myself get angry for being caught not focusing on my work, and this humiliation of myself angered me. It not that she was wrong in instructing me to do my work, if anything i have now realized that her justification in telling me off was utterly understandable. But, thankfully i am not the only one who gets angry, we all do. But it is about how you can control this anger. Let me give you this bit of advice, DON’T TALK ABOUT WHY YOU ARE ANGRY TOO MUCH OR IT WILL MAKE YOU MORE ANGRY. The best advice out there is to take a moment of two to recollect and reflect on yourself on why you feel this way. In Professor Steven Peters book “The Chimp Paradox”, he talks about the concept of the primary chimp in everyone, taking control of the mind when we feel angry as it is a direct way for the chimp to overpower the human. So next time you feel extreme anger and want to scream out loud, punch the wall etc, ask yourself ‘Do i really want to feel this way?’. If the answer is no, then the chimp has hijacked you but once noticing this, you the human are back in control. It becomes easier to calm down, take time out and breathe. Once you have calmed down and let go, there is no need to talk about what made you angry as the whole process will begin again. Nobody, including you, really wants that to happen.

Change – how to deal with it.

It always happens, all around us. Recently a change happened in my life concerning my friends and our relationship. We have began to grow apart after 4 years of strong companionship, and that is okay. When you are entered into a new environment, you have to adjust to the coherent changes around you, with my friend it was new people joining. Yet i was dumbfounded and confused when this occurred as i thought it was down to me that caused this. Am i not good enough? I was so worried that i got more into politics and the problem of Brexit just so i could join in on the conversation. It was not making me happy that i had to do research just to retain our level of friendship as it just felt like work. Friends should never be tedious work to keep. Learning to disconnect from that friendship is proving to be harder than expected, when you see them walk past you to talk to others can be hard. I sometimes still believe i am still at fault for the change. It is therapeutic in a away for me to type this up even if nobody sees this, as at least i am getting it off my chest. Writing this has made me realize some of the changes i need to make to myself, for one being have a positive mental attitude about yourself. Before inviting in others i must love myself for all my mishaps. You are the person you speak to most so you must LISTEN. Although H has better friends now, we still speak in lessons and have the occasional banter, but we are not as close as before, and that is fine.

Life -1

Well, this aspect is very complex. It is one of the reasons behind the creation of this blog. Many people who attend my school in my year are always judgemental of those who participate in other activities outside school. “Why would you do that now when you have the rest of your life after school”. Sure, my A levels are hard and complex, but there is a high chance that you will always be in some sort of work in all times in life – even retirement. Imagine this for a second, you are debt free and are at the top of the cooperate ladder with your wages. You have a lovely home which is massive and filled with – well nothing. You spent so long working your ass off to get there you are that you forgot to enjoy life in all its essence. If that is so then what was the point in it all? For me personally, i would be happier sacrificing the 6 figure salary for an average pay , but with many memories filling the emptiness of my life. So to those going to top universities may work very hard, but they could be forgetting the whole point of our lives, live meaningfully and passionately . We only have one life, why not fill it with as many memories as possible. Well, that is what i am trying to do now.

Hi!

So, where do i begin? Well i wanted to start a blog due to a fiery ambition to try something new and improve my skills at writing.A need for change has never been more apparent for me until now. My friend had been telling me recently about all her accomplishments in the past week, becoming 2nd in two competitions and competing in nationals for gymnastics. As she was speaking, something dawned on me. What am i doing with my life? Being at school and focusing on academics made it so that it was my main priority, but it was also my own priority. I want to be able to say that i have a life outside academics, that i accomplish my own goals in all different aspects of life. This is one of them. Sharing the thoughts with the world online is mind-boggling to me, but i want to share. What i will be sharing on here is my main thoughts, daily or weekly, and my overall opinion on certain aspects of life – friends, family and life. I hope you will enjoy because i know i am just writing this.