From My View

Not everybody wins all the time, we all fail at some point. My failures was during my exam period this yesr. It was a conglomeration of sickness and depression. I could not focus at all.

I have never really failed like that before in my life, but it taught me a lot about myself that i was shocked to discover.

I am extremely competitive, I won’t accept being 2nd or 3rd, I have to be 1st.

I am too hard on myself. From this blog, you can tell that I look down on myself. It is probably because I am competitive , but it might be due to not being able to settle.

Now, I know that I won’t give up, next time I am going to get high grades next time, no matter what. I will be the best.

When i say this, i mean it in the concept of being acknowledged by others; either for your talents or actions. I do not mean it as a celebrity (trust me, i ain’t famous).

So, where to begin? I had work experience this week, where i worked at a local private school with all different classes. I got to know all the children and teachers very well, and i was genuinely saddened to leave said school to return to my own. How this links into today’s topic you may ask. Well, yesterday at work, one of the children recognised me and said “How’s it going?”.

This may not seem like a lot to many, but this meant a lot to me. It felt as if the pupils had recognised my presence in the school, like i had some kind of influence on their lives.

There was this one kid, who was very loud and boisterous who was in one of the higher years (i went to a primary school). He called me a druggie, and i could tell he was putting on an act to impress his friends. But, when he was by himself on my last day, he was very sensible and focused on his work. He even started to cry when i was leaving.

Knowing that i had an influence on those pupil’s lives makes me feel amazing. My actions had been noticed and changed somebody’s life for the better.

Although i am unnoticed at school the majority of the time, an occupation where i want to help others (teaching) is perfect for me. I will make sure no one else goes unnoticed as i did.

This is so important to me, now more than ever.

I am currently practicing for my exams that I have next week. I know there will be a lot of people who will be revising constantly, and getting very stressed. Whilst it is stressful for me too, I find peace in exercising my body. After going through a quite depressive state of my life a few months back, I had put on quite a bit of weight, and lost most of my muscle. Now I am on my way back to getting this back. Truth be told, when you are stressed, work out, it’s great.

Moreover, I would like to add that it is very important to add outdoor activities too your timetable. I was recently at the opticians, and because I spend so much time on my gadgets, I need glasses to help me focus on what’s important for me to see. So I have now been going on bike rides and long walks, by myself, just to get some fresh air and time away from my phone.

I think it’s important to have a well balanced time of being indoors and outdoors. Right now my parents are inside watching tv after a dog walk earlier on. Then there is me, outside after being at work, doing some revision and being on a bike ride.

Everybody has there own way of relaxation, but exercising and getting fresh air is not just refreshing, it’s crucial.

This lesson I have only just learned. I like to buy new things when I get sick of the old, many can relate to this. Your brain gets that yearning for something new to come in. Just something. My instinct is to go straight to Amazon, or eBay to find something I like. I could spend ages looking through the “today’s deals” page for something I may like. But there never is anything there.

I will get hyped up for something I ordered. My brain will get all excited knowing a new thing is entering my life. Once I have got it, a void has opened, where the excitement once was. It can actually turn depressing when you buy something. You could even stretch to say it makes you unhappy.

Whilst being at work, I asked my colleague what the most expensive thing he bought was. He said is car , but then he said “I don’t really buy things, I buy experiences”. We both laughed and agreed that phrase was cringy, but still impacted me quite a bit.

Spending more/less does not make you happy. It will make you happy in the short term, but then the new becomes the old, and the cycle begins again.

New Resolution: No spending over £50 on a product unless they are absolutely necessary.

When I look outside, the sun is setting and is glistening across the lake, that is beauty. I used to be unable to look at this with any admiration, because I was so focussed on what was in my hand, my phone.

As you probably have noticed, I don’t usually post that often anymore. This is because I am reinventing myself.

Speaking to new people

Trying to break my boundaries

Wanting to show my love for others, relationship wise.

Do the best I can in everything.

Express my views to others

Make a difference

I am brand new, adapting to my surroundings and experiencing true joy in the most surreal surroundings. This is who I want to be, love is above everything, be determined , and give a shit.

My favourite thing to watch when going up, was anything superhero related. I loved superheroes! Still do really. I used to draw and make up little comics, where I would be the main superhero (Bolt Boy- The Flash), and would put my friends in the position of characters. As you can tell, I didn’t hang out with people a lot back then.

The Flash was a very important show to me, it taught me a lot of different values in the first two series, being a hero and helping others. I will always value that time. Whilst I am disappointed that it isn’t as great as it was, I still cherished those 4:30 am wake ups to watch it.

Being a hero was always the dream, I would try anything to let me show my powers. I tried to use the force, or run really fast. I even tried to run up a wall…

But still, I will run to whoever is in danger now because of these experiences. The Marvel Cinematic Universe do a great job of this with Captain America (who still is my favourite character). He does what is right, no matter the consequence.

In My Hero Academia, Deku is also one of my favourite fictional characters. In short, he was a nobody who physically couldn’t be a hero, but that didn’t stop him. He got to train at the leading Hero school, and became the worlds greatest hero. He resembles me most

In some ways, these characters are who made me. I am me through these people. The heart of Deku, the thinking of Captain America, the determination of the Flash. I am Bolt Boy.

Bit cringy? Don’t worry, I may not get powers that make me a superhuman (yet), but helping others and doing the right and best things I can in everything I do, that is basically a hero.

I can be a hero to others and myself, so can you.

When you decide to pursue a new hobby, it is fun and exciting and wakes you up in the morning. When I started my blog back at the start of the year , I thought the same too. There will be days where I do not know what to write about, because I had lost the sense of creativity in my mind. When your passion becomes a chore, the joy is gone.

You may have noticed I have stopped posting everyday, that’s because I think it is better for me to post whenever I want, instead of sticking to a schedule.

I want to make quality blogs, instead of making the mediocre. I want to finish what I start because I know it will benefit me. I want to do well in school so I have a great life.

My best life, from my view of course.

The build up time is almost over, now is the time for studying and planning for your next big enemy. There have been many casualties along the way, lost friends and family, but the fight has only just begun. You can probably tell that i like to over dramatize simple scenarios. The only big battle coming up is my practice exams for next year. It has been rough for me, this has been the year where i have been dumbfounded with my identity to some extent. “Who do i want to be, and what do i want to do?” is what i have asked myself many times. You could say that the conflict in my mind has been an ongoing war, and i am sure many can relate to this. Fighting within yourself for control can be one of the hardest things we have to do. Our conflicting ideologies and motives can puzzle us massively.

But back to the topic, knuckling down with studying. It is now mandatory to do, otherwise the probability of achieving high grades starts to diminish. personally, i have to focus too, and getting rid of my distractions plays a significant role. If i want to achieve my very best, i have to focus. I cannot afford to give up as it starts to get hard. Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Utilizing your time = expansion of the brain.

Hopefully this motto kicks in!

Recently, i have not been feeling like myself. I am alot less talkative, and i have been focusing mainly on the negative sides of a situation. I have read so many motivational books, yet they have failed to teach me how to deal with the dark times. Sure, i have noticed that in reality, things are not too bad, but the negative feelings inside are just present at the moment.

I had been unable to stop thinking about how i am not good enough compared to other people. If i am falling behind in class, instead of knuckling down with some work, i would drown in my own self pity, i couldn’t get there, not yet at least.

I think i now know a method to get out of this depressive state i have put myself in. Writing a list down about what goals i want to achieve is paramount for me to stay focused. There is a great subtle quote in Avengers Endgame that Hawkeye says to his daughter “You see it, now you have to figure out how you are gonna get there” and this is important for many areas of life.

When it comes to comparing yourself to others, if you physically cannot stop yourself, try feeling happy for their success and use that as a drive for yours.

Remember, there is no such word as can’t, the only phrase you should be using is not yet. The “yet” makes your goals seem possible, and you will be more driven to complete them.

I’ll keep you updated on how i am doing.

When you are playing on your games console or on your phone, it is easy for time to slip away from you due to its engrossing values. I feel that way ever since I got a phone and my PS4. I could use them for hours without noticing how quickly the time has gone. At the end of the day, I would of enjoyed myself, but I am going to end up feeling horrible because I had wasted all that precious time.

We are always told that life is precious, but what they don’t tell you is how to manage it. The best way I have found is to set a timer for how long you are going to do a certain topic. That way, you don’t lose out on time. Granted, you could turn the timer off once it has finished, but then you are physically aware of what you are doing, meaning you are more likely to stop.

It is possible to balance this, we only have a certain amount of time on this earth. Ask yourself “what have I done with my life?” . If you have just played games, then maybe it’s time you look for a balance. Don’t take the fun out of life, just remember to accomplish things other than in games.