Cry.

Hey reader! Hope you’re doing well.

I wanted to remind you that it is okay to express your emotions. There has been times in my life, where I have been unaware of my true feelings. They had been suppressed, covered up by my subconscious. But there is a way to unlock these every once in a while.

This is to cry.

Well it can be, but it is any way for any person to release their emotions in a safe way. Crying is something many people find effective, and something I had forgotten about.

It may just be me, but there is conditioned response to stop myself from crying. I’ve never really done it as I was embarrassed to, I was quite the cryer when I was younger due to some personal issues.

So I was embarrassed? Who cares? The important thing is I’ve recognised this, understanding my mentality. I don’t have to act so manly or grown up. Even adults cry.

It’s good, even if you’re not crying about the issue, it exposes your subconscious. Maybe you’ll find out something important about yourself through it.

So please, don’t hide your emotions, they are apart of you.

Dating

I wanted to stress some thing , which is very easy to overlook.

Dating is great. You get to meet cool people, get to know them even better, and have a wonderful time with them. Not to mention, the other things.

But there seems to be this trend, especially with people my age, where you always have to be dating. This isn’t true, for some reason it’s becoming the norm.

I’m no dating expert myself, but from what I do know is there is no rush to find the perfect person. With apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, they want you to find a date. Sometimes, you are not ready to be dating someone, maybe you need to give yourself time to grow.

I started noticing this about a year ago l, when I’d be taking to a girl, and then would evaluate what I was saying; I wasn’t a man, I was a boy, with a feeble understanding of the real world. With that mindset, no girl is going to change your mind.

There’s always this rush to be in things. The rush to be in a relationship, the rush to hold someone before anybody else. If there is someone out there for you, let them know, but remember to check if you’re okay too. Life is too short to not go for chances, but it’s also too short if you mess them all up.

Go with your gut. But when you’re dating, check that you’re in the right place to date.

Don’t care about unimportant stuff.

It is as simple as that. When there is something present in your life, that you know is unimportant, lacks any worth or value, why do you pay attention to it.

In life it is so easy to get caught up in the most minor things, not noticing what’s truly important until it’s right in our face. But trust me, you need to look for it, find it and hold onto what is most important.

The other stuff? Don’t care about it!

Growing Up

I may have touched on this topic before, But this evening I have realised the sad truth that I cannot act how I used to.

By now, my fellow readers would realise that I, like many of you, have been addicted to the Internet for all my life. I would spend hours online, watching and reading a whole load of bogus. This has amounted to my mind being filled with unecessary information that I do not require. It’s the sad truth, but do I really need to know a rumour that Jeffree Star slept with Kanye West? No, I didn’t think so.

This realisation means we have to cut the “fun” out of our lives, but instead, we have to moderate it. I have dreams and goals that I have not been pursuing to the maximum. That makes me sad, because I am wasting my time, and my life.

There is so much of life that I haven’t got to see yet. So many people and destinations I want to go to. I’m worried if I spend my life just stuck where I am now, nothing will change.

It’s funny. We spend so much time viewing others living the life we want to live, yet we don’t pursue it for ourselves. That is something I want to do from now. At the most heinous route, this careless attitude I have had is an act against self-love.

This is something everybody should focus on. If you do not love yourself and take care of yourself, then how can you expect yourself to take care of others?

Control yourself when it comes to acts of immediate pleasure which delegate away from the right decision. There is only so much our bodies and minds can endure before a total breakdown. As a collective and individual, we must get atop that.

Finally, on this post, I wanted to remind you all that I, am not perfect. I use this blog to explain my flaws and actions to combat them. There is the possibility that this mindset may fail, or I may slip up. That is fine, and it should not get you down, if this happens to you. I want us all to participate in a challenge I will be starting. It’s called “Deep Thought”.

For the next 30 days, I would like everyone to do these things:

  1. Find a time for mindfulness practice for at least 15 minutes
  2. Use this time to figure out what is the best action you should take next, write it down.
  3. When you come across a junction, think what is the best thing for my mind and body, choose that option. DO NOT GO FOR THE EASY OPTION!

Good luck ! 🙂

Time

Time, it is moving so fast isn’t it?

Well, technically it is moving at the same rate it has done for all of time. The length of a second is the same as it was at the beginning of time. But, it feels as though it is getting faster and faster.

When the first lockdown came into phase last year, it felt like time had stopped. There were no cars, no people, nothing. We felt like it would never end. Now, being back almost a year later, this feeling has gone.

We blink and 5 days have gone. We sleep and a month is gone. Time is moving very fast, which makes all previous moments and days fizzle together.

This is what this post is about, remembering the importance of each moment.

You cannot decide your future, you cannot change your past. The only action you have control of is the present moment. By doing so, you can influence future outcomes, but not change them.

I myself have found it difficult to focus on the present moment. With so much going on in my life, and around the world, it feels as though moments do not matter. If we get to this date, everything will be normal and then the present becomes important, but what about now?

Time is ticking, the world keeps on going. Ferris Bueller said it best “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stay and look around in a while, you might miss it”.

Cherish every moment you have, live in the NOW.

Lockdown 3.0

With the UK having another lockdown announced to protect there NHS, I wanted to touch on some of the benefits and my thoughts on the decision.

Obviously, it sucks. It’s annoying for those who need to go to work, the concept of freedom gets swayed, as people are not allowed to go anywhere.

But, there are some positives. You can still go out for exercise, such as a run, walk, cycle, etc. Just like in the first lockdown, this time is the best time to start something new, learn a new skill, or practice what you already know. Better get that guitar out of the cupboard.

If you are going to spend this Lockdown alone, don’t suffer in silence. There are many people, friends, family, and phone services that can help. Being on your own can be lonely, but you don’t have to be alone.

On the other hand, being alone might be great. You finally have your freedom to do what you want to do, but not everyone will feel that luxurious. Remember to look out for one another, because we are all in this together.

Please, don’t break the rules. You know it’s wrong, so why do it?

Finally, take some time to yourself. You don’t have to be working 24 hours a day. There is more than enough time in a day for you to relax. I ask you take up that opportunity, and remember to be present in that moment.

Take care!

Instead of being who you were how about becoming who you want to be?

This is something I thought about on my run this morning. We get so comfortable with how we live, day by day, that when change comes about, it is scary and unwanted.

Take starting a new habit, or quitting something you used to do ( such as smoking). Instead of sticking with this new change, humans find it very easy to slip back into our old ways. We crave the easy-life , and linearity in our daily routine.

It is so hard to change, is usually the mentality that people have when they are trying to change something about themselves. But, maybe it isn’t so difficult. If you say something will be difficult, it is likely it will appear to be more difficult. Optimism and mindset can change the play of the game.

We revert back to our old ways because that is who we used to be, and we recognise how easy it is to be that person. With the action of smoking, you may be quitting due to health risks. It is easy enough to forget, or stop trying to smoke because it is just too hard. This isn’t the case. Every single day, people change, little by little. Nobody is the same person as they were 24 hours before. Taking the leap to commit a change, is one of the strongest attributes a human can have. The best part about it? It is free and anybody can do it.

It must come from within. When you want to do something differently (especially with resolutions) it is key to remember why you are doing it, and how it will change your life, for the bettter.

So instead of living who you were before, how about living the life you want to be. If you identify as a non-smoker, then stop smoking. If you are an athlete, better start working out. Keep these ideals in realistic terms, nobody out there wants to be a unicorn.

Start living your ideal life, it all starts with a change of mindset.

I want to live.

As 2020 comes to a close, I wanted to explain my mantra going into the new year.

This year has been the toughest I have had to experience in the past 18 years of my life. There has been intense loneliness, stress and anger. But there has also been areas of joy, excitement and euphoria. Basically, this year has been something.

This is same for all of you too right? It has been a tough year. But, the important thing is we made it through together. Thought this wasn’t the case for everyone, so we need to remember how lucky we are, and pay respects to those we lost.

There is always the classic New Years resolutions that everyone sets. People set these to make a fresh start and changes. There is only one thing that rings in my mind.

I want to live

I want to pursue my ideas, my passions. No longer will my desired self be locked up in my head. I want to be that person from now.

Why wait?

Start now.

So, what do you want to do? Have a great year!

Are you in love with someone?

This is a genuine question i like to ask people, because it can reveal a lot about someone.

Being in love with someone is a difficult concept to divide. There are many different ways to love someone. You can instinctually care for others on this shared planet, and “love” that they are just as lucky to be here as yourself, cherishing their existence, but not having any real connection with them bar life. Or, there is self love, where you accept yourself for your own being, appreciating you for you and not for anybody else.

I haven’t begun to talk about loving other people romantically, because that is the hardest way to love someone, on the same level as unconditional love.

My biological father, is one of those people I love unconditionally. Though he may not be apart of my life, and he has made many shortcomings throughout my childhood, I still love him. There was a time last year, where I resented him, and was filled with nothing but hatred for him, wishing every evil upon him. I thought I was becoming like him, but I realised that I am my own person, and I choose how I act. Could you argue that this is self-love? Yes, but it is something I am working on. We’ve only got one life, so what is the point in resenting yourself and others?

Back to the question at hand, being in love with someone is hard to decipher than being in love with the idea of someone.

There has been many times where my imagination takes ahold of my beliefs, I imagine what it would be like to be with someone, and how amazing it would be. To the story about my old flatmate, she was someone I had imagined being with, but when it came close to this being a reality, I realised how wrong perceptions can be. Not everything is as cut-clear as it may pose to be; don’t trust everything from a bird’s eye, you have to be on the ground to understand.

So, telling the difference between these two concepts takes time. You may need to talk to yourself to understand this. Do I really love this person, or am I love with the idea of them, and how I perceive them to be.

You also leave yourself vulnerable to rejection. If you set your expectations too high, you are likely to be disappointed. There was this one girl , whom I thought was perfect for me. But when it came to the moment of asking her out, she said no. When I use the word rejection, it really holds no value. Being rejected isn’t being rejected, you were never owed something in the first place. But, it can feel like rejection, which is difficult to overcome.

Love takes time to brew. There is the phrase “love at first sight”. Though I have never experienced that, I do know that true love is not instant. Take my parents for example. Occasionally they fall out and argue, but they are each other’s anchors, and can come back from anything. Saying this aloud would cause for some kind of failsafe, such as “touch wood” or crossing fingers, but I believe this to be the case. True love is one where nothing can shatter it, or something so terrible could cause an imbalance.

You can love someone too much, which disrupts the balance and can cause destruction. This is why true love is a balance.

After all these mini discussions, it can be shown that love isn’t black and white. So when I ask “Are you in love with someone?”, think deep down what love means to you.

Once you unlock true love, you’ll know, and you won’t let it go.

So, are you in love with someone? Or are you in love with something else?

Keep Going Pt 2

The world is constantly changing around us. Throughout this past year, multiple things have changed , such as the way we contact people, to the way we complete our work. If you had told yourself a year ago that any of this was going to happen, it would be difficult to convince them.

However, this is the world we live in. Not everybody has been so lucky this year, and it is important to realise that. Which is why this phrase comes in handy. “Keep going” isn’t just a phrase to me, it’s a mantra. We can complain about the world, Brexit and Covid all we want, but at the end of the day, we just have to deal with it. There is only so much we can change in our world, the rest we have to deal with and keep going.

This may not be surprising to many, but it is important to remember. I still think people care too much about what is unimportant in life. Things such as new variants or drops in stock markets are tough to deal with, but there isn’t much you can do about it. I understand that people can get upset and angry, but it isn’t going to change something, it’s just wasting time where you could be figuring out what you should do next.

Overall, it sounds quite cynical, but try not to care too much on what is out of your control. Complain all you want about what you can control, but realise this is something you have to deal with and solve. But always remember, though it may be tough, to keep going.