Why is everyone in a rush?

I feel as though everywhere I go, people are always in a rush to do the next thing. When I am driving on the road for example, drivers are so quick to ignore road safety for the convenience of getting somewhere just that bit quicker. I can understand for some reasons, such as being late for work, but if that is the case it is better that you face the consequences whilst arriving safely.

In life, what I have always wanted to do was to grow up quicker. Now that I am turning 19, I realise that I was wrong. Growing up is not an age, it is a mindset. I am already quite mature for my age, but wishing the time away has only resulted in negatives. We are each in control in how we present ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we have to rush our lives. Taking things slower, being more intentional with our actions, is the solution to solving the equation of life. If you are continuously rushing through your life, then are you living it?

WORK ON YOURSELF BEFORE ALL OTHERS

For the past week or so, I have taken the week off of blogging and all my projects to focus on pointless meaningless things such as playing very dumb games and doing my University work. Well University is not meaningless, but I find as though I am trying to grow up too fast, like my own life is trying to pass me by.

A lot of things have been changing for me. I finally starting working out intentionally and properly, compared to the half-assed method I have been using for the past 2 and a half years. I feel great, and it is made me realise what I have been missing.

Back in September, when I felt at my lowest low, I made a promise to myself that I would improve my life. Moving away from my issues was helpful, but besides that I had not changed. When I was skipping the other night, I realised that this was the first step to climbing the ladder to becoming better.

One of my favourite Haikyu lines comes to mind when I think about this. It goes “He who climbs the ladder, must start at the bottom”. This line is so meaningful, so much so that it is indescribable.

As I grow into adulthood, I realise that no adult has any idea what is going on, they are just going with whatever is happening. I notice this when I aspire to be an adult; what is what I aspire?

It is good to aspire to ideals and goals, but don’t attach yourself to them and think everything else is perfect. Work on all areas of yourself before you work on others.

This was a ramble, but it was important to get it off my chest. Have a great day!

You don’t have to pursue dreams others dreamt for you.

I think with all our limited time here on this earth, it has become abundantly clear that we will not have the capacity to go after all that we want in our life. It is just a matter of fact; that is hard to digest for many.

I think, for many people, we were always swayed to go on a certain career path since we were younger. A lot of us would be handed a job to obtain on a silver plate once we showed one ounce of being good at something. For me, I was very good with construction and building things independently. Therefore, I might have been suited to an engineering job. The future is uncertain, so maybe I will still pursue this job, but it became apparent to me that I have the will to choose my own destiny. That may sound very fluffy and almost cringe-worthy, but it is the truth.

We each have the capacity to move our lives to an ideal that we want to strive for. If I wanted to invest more of my time into cooking, I would change my life to focus more around this. Greek Philosophers figured this out years ago; if you have a problem, do not settle and look for a solution; they always exist.

People who remain in situations that don’t bring them joy is difficult to break. With so much toxicity and terrible people, it can be hard to break out of those situations. But, it is not impossible, because the chance that got you in that situation is still there to get you out. Think of it like a Ctrl Z button.

Things can change, you can change. You don’t have to live your life to something you don’t like. You don’t have to pursue dreams others dreamt for you

Say Thank You.

Embracing our gratitude for other people’s actions has always been a key principle in many peoples’ lives. For me, it comes and goes the level of which I am grateful for others. Sometimes, I will feel an abundance of happiness and gratitude for those around me, sometimes I don’t represent it enough.

But today, I was reminded of what great things others do for me.

When I was learning to drive; last year, I was being taught by this elderly man who had been a professional for decades. He was always extremely kind and would go out of his way to help others; definitely made me feel confident and focused with my driving.

Besides all of the progression in the course, we would have these in depth conversations about all topics. It was one of the reasons I wanted to study psychology; to have the ability to have conversations, which I feel as though the world is losing.

That man’s kindness and care for others, even if he was not being paid for it, has stayed with me and forever will. I messaged him today to see how he was doing, and he still hasn’t changed.

For people like this in your life, say thank you ❤

Who Cares?

This is a notion which I like to keep with me now, in whatever I am pursuing in my life. Recently, this came to light when there was drama in the YouTube community concerning branding in the beauty community. I am all for ousting people who do the wrong thing, especially any mental or physical abuse. When it comes to the cancel culture of the internet, it is so powerful that it sometimes works too quickly, or too hard in some cases; destroying the careers of people who really had not done anything wrong.

I think nowadays, our society is not willing to have a conversation. With highly inexcusable acts, such as racism, homophobia and sexism to name a few, there is no discussion to be had. But when it comes to the smaller, personal topics between individuals, it seems to be a case of “I am right and you are wrong, but I don’t want to hear what you want to say”.

I understand, people feel extremely threatened when they are found to be wrong, or expose themselves to the possibility of being wrong. But, being wrong is flipping cool. Not only do you get to learn something, but you also learn a little more about yourself in the meantime; what is more valuable than that?

But, the things we seem to care about are the most meaningless. When I used to use Facebook I would complain about what everybody else is doing; judging them for their every move. But one day I stopped myself an asked “Why do I care about this?”. I purposely choose to act the way I act, which means I hold all of the power.

So, the next time you ask a question, or are hesitant about making a decision, don’t care about what everyone else will think. I was going to google “Should I buy a Samsung or iPhone” but then I thought “Who cares?” and I should just buy the one that will make you happy.

With the small things that matter to you, and the some of the large things, focus on YOU. Stop paying attention to everyone else.

You Don’t know how strong you are.

One issue that i find many people globally have is the art of self deprecation. It needs no explanation, as I believe most are aware of how harmful it can be. Recently I was thinking to myself that I was not good enough, I was unable to complete my required tasks because “I was not good enough” to produce a high quality results. Once I realized I was doing this to myself, I had to take a step back with how harsh I was being to myself. Why am I allowing myself to discredit myself like this?

Being negative is very easy in this era because we are subjected to negativity in the media everyday. It is a tough world, and many choose to view it as such. But, the simple ideal of think positive has never been so powerful.

Positivity and self love is difficult to obtain for oneself. I have struggled with this throughout my life.

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not everyone else

Think about how much you have overcome just to get to here, you are so strong for making it this far.

Your body is your one and only, take care of it.

If you realise how strong you are, then you will know why you must keep going. We only get one life, live it.

Francis

Today, I was on the r/stoicism subreddit and I wanted to look at the top rated posts of all time. This is the one that captured my eye and stuck with me. It is beautifully written, and says a lot when it comes to life.

“So I have found out about 1 month ago that I have a serious medical condition that is going to eventually kill me. I went through a long period of mourning and sadness. I’ve contemplated suicide many times. Especially so once I read Seneca’s letters to Lucilius number 70 and 77 where he talks of taking ones life. He spoke so casually about it and how one must remember that there is no number of days we are bound to complete and that if we were to make life longer, how much longer would we make it? I meditated on these ideas a long time and finally I realized I was approaching this the wrong way. I only have now. This very moment I may as well choose to make these days great rather than wallow in misery and self pity. I woke up today extremely happy although I’m in tremendous pain I choose not to let it effect me. I finished up a will to leave what little I have to my niece and nephew. I called my mother and told her how much I loved her and how much I appreciated the support she gave me throughout my existence. I finally found peace only in knowing seriously that I didn’t have much time left. Lastly I want to thank you all. The stories you shared and hardships you went through gave me a new perspective. It showed me that I was not alone and that many people suffer much more than me. So once again thank you everyone. To me stoicism is the ultimate truth. The only philosophy that made sense to me. I wish you all the best and I hope you remain stoic until you too meet the fate we are all bound for. Farewell everyone.

Best regards, Francis.”

The World is not fair and that is okay

This is probably one the most negative topics I have covered on this blog until now, because no one likes to think this is the truth.

Let me explain, our lives are complicated and they change dramatically every day. There are ideals and missions that we all follow, but they are all different. If that is the logic, then how can it be that the world is fair for everyone?

If I am honest with myself; re-evaluating my point, I deleted a lot of what I wrote for this post. I believe that those who strive to make the world a better place, changing beliefs and constitutional opinions on repressed communities will see change. The world is not fair, and it has always been, but that doesn’t mean through dedication and hard work that we begin to see change.

It is impossible for everyone to have everything we want, I think we saw that in the questionable movie Wonder Woman: 1984. People don’t get handed their needs on a plate, working hard and staying dedicated towards a goal is the path to success.

Think Twice

So often in our lifetimes, do we jump into something headfirst; disregarding any chance for thought for anything other than just to fulfil our immediate need.

Take me for example. I was going to spend 400 pounds today to upgrade to a phone that I don’t even need. What was insane to me, was how close I came to doing it.

Many will argue that it is easy to not give into your temptations, to just not do it. But I tell you as an actual honest individual, it is hard not to buy new things. We see it as our value; what we own is who we are. People disagree with this statement regularly, though they go out and buy the latest iPhone the next day. Our lives are hilarious in the most interesting way possible, but only we have the power to change our beliefs.

Accepting it is a problem is one of the first steps. Once we clarify within ourselves, whatever we are doing, we must think twice before deciding if it is a good decision.

I don’t want to be spoiled anymore.

I am aware that I have posted about this before, but with the release of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, I have begun to release, in so many ways, that I no longer, want to be spoiled for experiences.

When you buy a book, you do not usually look up the ending online before you read the first page. Though some may argue that ” it is all about the experience of writing the book, instead of the actual story”, unfortunately for me honey, I read my books to get lost in a new world.

I think we all pay too much attention to what everybody else is doing, whether that is due to FOMO (fear of missing out) or conditioned sheep-like behaviour to follow what everybody else wants; thinking that is your own want. This may be a tangent, but when I see people on YouTube, basically telling you to change your life to act a certain way, I think to myself “who gives you the right to tell anyone anyway how to live their life other than themselves”. In extreme circumstances, of course it would be stupid not to utilise your influence to spread a positive message, but this constant ordering over others had become negative and annoying.

That is only if you let it become that.

We are all so bothered by what everybody else is doing, that we lose sight of what our actual lives entail. Right now, I am listening to WhiteNoise whilst my dogs look at me; begging to go on a dog walk. Instead of focussing on MY present moment, I focus on the rest of the world, such as how others are reacting to a show on Disney Plus that is just a show, or a prediction on how the series will end. I truly believe now, that going into things blind is one of the most treasured and thrilling attitudes to have. Knowing so much about pop culture community in the past can lead to expectations underwhelmed and predictions of the plot.

In many ways, I believe that individuals should be more selfish with their own personal wants. If everyone is getting the iPhone, but you really like that Samsung, then get the Samsung. You can like what you like; without choosing to care about what everyone else thinks. I understand in many situations across the globe, this can be hard or nearly impossible, but I employ you to stick to your own values as much as you can.

If you don’t, the question is asked of who is living your life; you or others

Anyway, that is my long way of saying that my friend from school? I understand why you watch things blindly, it is so much fun.

Live your life for you, not others.