The is no one else you should rather be than yourself.

That title? It is the one thing that is helping me understand how I should treat myself, especially since what I have learned in the past few weeks.

Truthfully I have not been honest with you, I have been appearing like a guru in these blog posts, as if I have the key information that will unlock the universe before me, but that is not me, it is a role that I play to appeal to an audience; you.

Recently, I have exhausted myself on trying to act positively for other people; being the perfect version of myself in the situation presented, so whoever else is there will like me. Consequently, I became lost in my sense of self. “If I am all these different people to everyone else, then who am I to me?”. This statement can be interpreted as quite preachy, anyone who would give advice would say “don’t overthink it”. I think I have said this advice before on this blog.

The world isn’t black and white, overthinking is not something you can switch off; it is a habit. These habits, like any, are reinforced and can be constantly present.

What I am saying here is, we all need to stop trying to appeal to others. Though it is expected of us, as we are social creatures, it is also exhausting and fruitless.

The right people will come, but you won’t need to change your entire personality just to have a chance at forming any relationship with them.

How to be more intentional with your time.

Plan: Intro, the issue, what i will do, 1 plan your day, 2 have an accountability partner, 3 be disciplined, realize when it is okay to relax

As you have all seen throughout the duration of this blog’s life, I like to use my platform as reminders to myself and others on how to be better. Today’s task is centered around improving your intentions.

The usual routine of an adult’s day is to: wake up, shower, maybe walk the dogs and have breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner , watch tv and go to bed. This seems pretty standard, but at least for me, I have the feeling that this time where I am not doing anything could be used more practically for pursuing my interests.

A power that social media has upon individuals is the ability to nullify passion and drive. Mindlessly scrolling on a screen is like a dementor; it sucks the life out of you to the point where you forget your own meaning other than to endlessly scroll.

You basically become robotic, consuming media and applying it to the only area of your mind which is accessible, your insecurities. The horrific thing is, our automatic, habitual tendency to pull out our phone is becoming our downfall for this bad behaviour, which ultimately we inflict on ourselves.

One solution to begin to make your time intentional is to delete the applications which can suck your time up. This makes them impossible to access without redownloading it, and according to the 20 second rule, if you’re really disciplined, you are unlikely to follow through.

Alternatively, if you can’t just delete the apps, you can always use screen restrictions, such as Apple’s Screen time rules or Android’s Digital Wellbeing. Unlike the redownloading, the only obstacle between you and the app is a passcode which unlocks the app, though with Apple focusing on containing this, it is unlikely to remain this easy.

Having an extra pair of hands can help stimulate better intentionality in your life. For example, I let my mum know what I am getting up to, just so I am more likely to stay focused and determined if someone is reminding me what I should be doing.

Finally, you may think you have to be extremely disciplined, the reality is if you plan your day, not down to the specifics (like 20:30- 20:34 dinner) then you are still likely to be disciplined enough to do what you need to do. Setting boundaries on technology and having someone look out for you are key, resulting in a disciplined personality trait developing. That is how to be more intentional.

Thank you for reading!

Entitlement

I’ve always had this idea in my head, that if you do something nice for another person, the good karma could be reciprocated in some other form. For example, I was at the shops one day; buying some chocolate to eat on the way back to school. My card got declined, and I was panicking because there was a queue that was beginning to form. Unexpectedly, the man behind me decided he was going to pay for my stuff as well as his. I was shocked, I had never experienced this level of generosity in my life with the general public. This man didn’t know me, but he still decided to help me.

Once I had thanked the man, I left and composed myself outside. The man walked up to me and said “Just one thing mate, pass it on”. That was the moment I realised his message; do nice things without expecting a result.

These days, it can feel as though the whole world is incredibly selfish. If you ask how many donate to charity, the numbers are far lower than expected. So when I witness this man being astonishingly nice, I want to pay it forward.

That’s what I did, paying for somebody else’s shopping and donating to charity. Though this was a big deal for me, I do not see this as an achievement. We should all be giving to one another. It seems as though the concept of “one world” to share has been lost. Let’s try to fix that.

Today, I would like each of you to do one good thing for somebody else. It can be small or big, but you mustn’t expect a reward from doing it. Just being kind out of the kindness in your heart should be enough.

Take care 🙂

Dating

I wanted to stress some thing , which is very easy to overlook.

Dating is great. You get to meet cool people, get to know them even better, and have a wonderful time with them. Not to mention, the other things.

But there seems to be this trend, especially with people my age, where you always have to be dating. This isn’t true, for some reason it’s becoming the norm.

I’m no dating expert myself, but from what I do know is there is no rush to find the perfect person. With apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, they want you to find a date. Sometimes, you are not ready to be dating someone, maybe you need to give yourself time to grow.

I started noticing this about a year ago l, when I’d be taking to a girl, and then would evaluate what I was saying; I wasn’t a man, I was a boy, with a feeble understanding of the real world. With that mindset, no girl is going to change your mind.

There’s always this rush to be in things. The rush to be in a relationship, the rush to hold someone before anybody else. If there is someone out there for you, let them know, but remember to check if you’re okay too. Life is too short to not go for chances, but it’s also too short if you mess them all up.

Go with your gut. But when you’re dating, check that you’re in the right place to date.

Lockdown 3.0

With the UK having another lockdown announced to protect there NHS, I wanted to touch on some of the benefits and my thoughts on the decision.

Obviously, it sucks. It’s annoying for those who need to go to work, the concept of freedom gets swayed, as people are not allowed to go anywhere.

But, there are some positives. You can still go out for exercise, such as a run, walk, cycle, etc. Just like in the first lockdown, this time is the best time to start something new, learn a new skill, or practice what you already know. Better get that guitar out of the cupboard.

If you are going to spend this Lockdown alone, don’t suffer in silence. There are many people, friends, family, and phone services that can help. Being on your own can be lonely, but you don’t have to be alone.

On the other hand, being alone might be great. You finally have your freedom to do what you want to do, but not everyone will feel that luxurious. Remember to look out for one another, because we are all in this together.

Please, don’t break the rules. You know it’s wrong, so why do it?

Finally, take some time to yourself. You don’t have to be working 24 hours a day. There is more than enough time in a day for you to relax. I ask you take up that opportunity, and remember to be present in that moment.

Take care!

Instead of being who you were how about becoming who you want to be?

This is something I thought about on my run this morning. We get so comfortable with how we live, day by day, that when change comes about, it is scary and unwanted.

Take starting a new habit, or quitting something you used to do ( such as smoking). Instead of sticking with this new change, humans find it very easy to slip back into our old ways. We crave the easy-life , and linearity in our daily routine.

It is so hard to change, is usually the mentality that people have when they are trying to change something about themselves. But, maybe it isn’t so difficult. If you say something will be difficult, it is likely it will appear to be more difficult. Optimism and mindset can change the play of the game.

We revert back to our old ways because that is who we used to be, and we recognise how easy it is to be that person. With the action of smoking, you may be quitting due to health risks. It is easy enough to forget, or stop trying to smoke because it is just too hard. This isn’t the case. Every single day, people change, little by little. Nobody is the same person as they were 24 hours before. Taking the leap to commit a change, is one of the strongest attributes a human can have. The best part about it? It is free and anybody can do it.

It must come from within. When you want to do something differently (especially with resolutions) it is key to remember why you are doing it, and how it will change your life, for the bettter.

So instead of living who you were before, how about living the life you want to be. If you identify as a non-smoker, then stop smoking. If you are an athlete, better start working out. Keep these ideals in realistic terms, nobody out there wants to be a unicorn.

Start living your ideal life, it all starts with a change of mindset.

Keep Going Pt 2

The world is constantly changing around us. Throughout this past year, multiple things have changed , such as the way we contact people, to the way we complete our work. If you had told yourself a year ago that any of this was going to happen, it would be difficult to convince them.

However, this is the world we live in. Not everybody has been so lucky this year, and it is important to realise that. Which is why this phrase comes in handy. “Keep going” isn’t just a phrase to me, it’s a mantra. We can complain about the world, Brexit and Covid all we want, but at the end of the day, we just have to deal with it. There is only so much we can change in our world, the rest we have to deal with and keep going.

This may not be surprising to many, but it is important to remember. I still think people care too much about what is unimportant in life. Things such as new variants or drops in stock markets are tough to deal with, but there isn’t much you can do about it. I understand that people can get upset and angry, but it isn’t going to change something, it’s just wasting time where you could be figuring out what you should do next.

Overall, it sounds quite cynical, but try not to care too much on what is out of your control. Complain all you want about what you can control, but realise this is something you have to deal with and solve. But always remember, though it may be tough, to keep going.

Onwards and Upwards!

I am back! This time better than ever.

I do feel a bit of guilt for abandoning this blog, but I found it was the right thing to do since all that has been happening over the past few weeks.

So, I have been studying at my university for my assignments that were due in just before Christmas. They have been lots of hard work, but I have found them to be rewarding once you hit the ” Submit” button. Before, back in Secondary school, I would not care as much when it came to homework and tasks. I would do them as soon as I got them yes, but I would not soak in the information from the tasks to apply this to my understanding. This made them pointless.

This is one of the first things i have begun to comprehend, is to Engage with your work. What i mean by this is to not only complete your homework, or tasks, but to consider “What is this telling me?”.

Let’s say for example, you are doing a maths question, focussed around pythagoras’ theorem. You answer the question. Done, easy peasy and off to relax-town. But, if you asked yourself what it was teaching you, it would become clear the task was showing you when to use it, on right-angled triangles only!

Besides the maths lesson, looking at the bigger picture should always be at the forefront of your mind. Not to the point where you overthink life entirely, but enough for you to learn the reasoning behind certain actions and tasks.

In social situations, the ‘bigger’ picture concerns the “Why” in people’s behaviour. For example, I was driving on the dual carriageway recently, and this woman was constantly beeping at me. I was driving at 70, and was following the road rules, but I couldn’t understand why she was beeping. I could easily get angry and try to react, but I thought to myself, I don’t know this woman, something may have happened in her life to make her act this way. People should be treated the way they wish to be treated, but if others fail to meet that criteria, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by, remember I’m not a guru.

YouTube detox

A month on from my last detox, that did not go that well in all honesty. My addiction to the internet, especially YouTube, has began to spike again. I find myself watching endless streams of videos, constantly refreshing my recommended tab; waiting for the next piece to catch my eye.

This has affected my health in ways that I did not know it could. I find that my screen time has increased by a large margin. Though I watch Anime on Crunchyroll, it is not as frequent as the Google site. I am now well aware of my existence, and how I am wasting it, consuming the success of others. I keep telling myself: I am better than this, I can do more. But I am always so hesitant to do so. It is like I need to go on there to be happy.

That isn’t right, I need to find true happiness within myself, not through objects. So, for the next 30 days, YouTube is off the table. I cannot go onto it for any necessary reasons.

It is time to see how strong my self control is.

Have fun

I am not going to lie to you, I did not come up with this idea. I had just finished watching a video by John Fish, a YouTuber who produces content focusing on productivity and life. He raised a good point about this pandemic, and how we should be responding. His dad gave him some good advice, “whatever you’re doing, make sure you’re having fun with it”. What this is saying is to not focus on what you can achieve from doing work, studying for exams or working out, just as long as you are having fun whilst doing it, the results will come to you.

This changed my perspective of quarantine. A lot of it I have spent trying to be produxtive, so I wouldn’t look like a failure afterwards. But, this mentality is wrong. I shouldn’t be pushing always for the end goal, it only matters if I had fun doing it in the process. For example, in Year 13, I spent a lot of it with my friends, having a good time and forming those strong bonds. There was another girl, who focussed completely on her studies, and did not have fun along the way. As a result, she doesn’t have the same friendship intensity as I do now.

This doesn’t mean to not care about your future. It is quite the opposite. However you go about chasing your dreams, make sure you have fun whilst doing it. The end result will not be so amazing that it will change your mood. The journey is more important than the destination.

I’m definitely going to implement this into my life, will you?