I won’t let fear hold me back anymore.

So for a bit of context, i am a 18-year-old University student in the UK. I’m studying Psychology, but i have found that i am really bored. I get on with my work, do well in tests, but i am left with all of this free time. I don’t know what to do with it. Usually, i would just go on my phone, and watch YouTube to pass the time, until the end of the day. Due to this, i have been unable to learn what makes me happy, and what i like to do.

I constantly stress about what will make me successful in the future.

I want to be successful, but i always second guess myself. Any decision i make, i will interrogate myself afterwards until the decision is either changed or removed. Just recently i bought myself the new Apple Watch, but my mind will say to me “You don’t deserve this, and it will make you poorer in the future”. There has been an abundance of times where i have sold things because i don’t feel like i deserve them.

This low self-esteem is too toxic, and now i have begun to realise this. I need difference and change in my life if i have any chance at being happy. I am going to leave this time behind me . I have wanted to commit to doing YouTube videos, so why the heck not give it a try?I wanted to improve my art skills, then just do it! Shia Laboeuf does put it very clearly. No more fear for the future, i’ll make a decision and go with it. Life has no time for regrets and drawbacks.